


Unspoken Line

by TerraCody



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Romantic Friendship, Sex, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:22:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraCody/pseuds/TerraCody
Summary: Jill POV, post Resident Evil 5. Chris makes arrangements for Jill to relax at a luxurious safe house and meet up with longtime friends. The goal is for Jill to rehabilitate after everything that she suffered over the last three years. But while the trip is relaxing for Jill, it forces her to face the many questions she has regarding her relationship with Chris.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> The Biohazard/Resident Evil series and its characters are the property of Capcom. I’ve been an avid fan of this series since the very first game, and this idea is something that’s been floating around in my head since I finished Resident Evil 5. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to finish it, but in a way I’m glad I waited because I’ve had to make changes to this story to fit the storyline in the games. So this takes place sometime after the events in Resident Evil 5. I took some liberties with what’s been going on with some of the characters in this story, but I hope no one minds. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter One

* * *

 

_I couldn’t breathe._

_My brow knitted in confusion, and my chest burned. I tried to struggle, but I was taken off guard by the horrific pain that shook my body. I gasped aloud, and whimpered. The air tasted sour._

_“Still with me, Jill?”_

_That voice. Hatred filled my entire body as I heard that smug voice over me. I began to struggle more, but I felt intense pinpricks of pain across my skin. I tried to open my eyes, but it felt like the lids had been sewn shut. I tried to scream, but my throat closed. I was helpless. I couldn’t do anything._

_“Let’s see…” **AH!** Something sharp pierced the crook of my arm and penetrated the vein. I felt something be dispensed into my body, and I shuddered in horror. What else could this man do to me?_

_“Your willpower is impressive Jill, but it’s futile. No knight in shining armor will swoop in to rescue you. Everyone believes you’re dead, after all.”_

**_I hate you._ ** _I thought those words at this person with all my strength, because I couldn’t force the words out of my throat. **I hate you so much!**_

_“But just a little patience is all I ask of you.” I heard him chuckle as he suddenly leaned in close. His breath stirred the hair beside my ear. “I can’t wait to see the expression Chris will show me…when you finally kill him.”_

* * *

“Jill?”

I blinked my eyes in confusion, snapping awake abruptly. I squinted against the dim light of the car, and focused on the blue eyes leaning over me. “I-I’m fine,” I choked out softly. As I shook off the sleep from my mind, I quickly reminded myself for the umpteenth time that the pain and terror I had just experienced had been only part of a nightmare.

That was my past. _This_ , however—my being in a car, away from danger—was my present.

Claire Redfield watched me for a long moment before she slowly nodded. “Okay.” She pulled away from me and slid back into the driver’s seat. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, but you were making these sounds like you were in pain. I was afraid you were having a nightmare.”

“It’s better now,” I reassured her, taking in my environment. My body was sagged at an awkward angle against the car door. The overhead car light was on because darkness surrounded us on the outside. I yawned widely and rubbed the sleep from my eyes with my hand. “What day is it?”

Claire smiled at me as she turned off the overhead light. “April 12th, 12:22 am. Don’t worry, we’ll be there soon.”

I said nothing as she started the car again and continued driving. _April 12 th_…I remembered now. The past two months had been so muddled in my mind that everything was so confusing. It was hard to believe that just two months ago I was in Africa, under the complete mind control of an evil man.

It was even harder to believe that I spent three years in captivity with this same man—Albert Wesker. He controlled me, experimented on me. The things he did to me…the things he made me do…I shook my head violently and pressed my hands over my ears as some futile attempt to shut away the horrible memories. _It’s over. Don’t think about it, Jill. Don’t think about it anymore._

Claire glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, but she said nothing. She had picked me up from the airport and was taking me to Chris’s safe house, undoubtedly at the request of her older brother. Up until yesterday I had been in quarantine with BSAA. I understood their reasoning in wanting to make sure I was not a threat, but being back in a lab under scrutinizing tests brought back a lot of unpleasant memories. It was also extremely monotonous and boring. I’d had no idea how long they were planning on detaining me.

Then yesterday…yesterday I was told I was granted leave. The BSAA were encouraged by the results they’d gotten from me and assured me I had gotten clearance from the US government to leave the labs for a week. Of course they still told me where I was going—a safe house on Kauai’s northeast coast in Hawaii. It sounded way too good to be true, but I knew that Chris had made these arrangements for me. Which he’d confirmed to me in a text message just a few hours prior.

A safe house in Hawaii. I was flattered that Chris would do so much for me, but it was a bittersweet feeling. As nice as this trip was, Chris wasn’t going to be at the safe house with me. The last text I’d received from him he said he was on a mission in Southeast Asia (he did not elaborate on which country he was in) and he anticipated that the mission would last for another month or so. It was disappointing, because I’d spent so much time away from Chris during my captivity, and even after we reunited in Kijuju we still saw very little of each other.

He was my partner. He was my best friend. I was willing to die for him, and I very nearly did. But now, even after everything we had been through together, we were apart. It was very difficult, but I knew I had to muster _some_ sort of enthusiasm for this trip. I imagined that Chris went to great trouble to make these arrangements for me, and I would do him a disservice if I spent this whole week moping around.

“You’re going to enjoy this place,” Claire said, breaking the silence in the car. “It’s not your typical safe house. Despite everything we’ve all gone through there’s no denying the fact that we have different lives now and different schedules. Chris wanted to give us all a place to stay to unwind after missions without worry, and so we might have an opportunity to run into old friends.”

I folded my hands over one knee. “So, a safe house on the coast of Hawaii? How big is it?”

“There’s nine bedrooms.”

I did a double-take, shocked by what I was hearing. “Nine bedrooms? Chris bought a house with _nine bedrooms_ on the coast of Hawaii?! He must have spent a fortune on it!”

“He gets a good paycheck from the BSAA, as you already know yourself,” Claire said good-naturedly. “But many of us gave him some financial assistance. The money he got from Jim helped him to secure the house, so for safety reasons Jim’s name is on the lease. But Chris technically owns the house.”

“Who’s Jim?” I asked her.

“Oh, Jim Chapman,” Claire said, laughing a little. “He owns his own business here in Kauai, but he originally came from Raccoon City. He survived the outbreak in Raccoon City, like we both did.”

I looked at her in shock. “Is he part of BSAA? Or TerraSave?”

Claire shook her head. “No, he’s a civilian. Which is good because he tends to be _very_ dramatic at times. But he was one of the plaintiffs who got a _huge_ settlement from Umbrella, and he used some of this money to help Chris secure the house, so I won’t say anything bad about him. But he _does_ tend to get on everyone’s nerves.”

“Who’s at the safe house now?”

“Jim is, and you know Chris isn’t. After I drop you off I have to swing back to the airport and fly home.”

“You’re flying back?” I asked her. Claire shrugged. “I took a short vacation, and that vacation is over. I have to get back to work.”

So she drove all the way to the airport to pick me up to drive me to the safe house, only to have to drive back to the airport? I swallowed thickly as I tried to find something to say. “T…Thank you Claire, but you should’ve gotten someone else top pick me up. I-I hate to make you go out of your wa—”

“It’s not out of my way,” Claire quickly interrupted me. “I’m happy to help you, Jill.”

“But—”

“Jill, enough.” She gave me a stern look. “I won’t hear anything about it. I was the one who volunteered to pick you up. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have done so. It’s the least I can do for you, all things considering.”

The topic was final. I knew it, and I knew I would just make her upset by pressing the subject. I hated that Claire was doing so much running around at the end of her own vacation, but I also knew there was no point discussing it further. “…Thank you,” I said finally.

Claire forced a smile at me. “You’ll be happy to see the other guests who are at the safe house. Barry arrived this morning with Kathy and Polly. Polly’s on spring break, so this is their vacation. Barry wanted to come with me to pick you up, but he’s experiencing jet lag and Kathy convinced him he needed to sleep it off.”

I was thrilled at the idea of seeing Barry, but I quickly noticed Claire’s omission. “Just Polly? Moira didn’t come with them?”

“…No,” Claire said, her tone dipping a little. “Barry and Moira I guess…have been having problems for a long time. They’re not currently on speaking terms. I overheard Polly talking about it with Lott this afternoon. She didn’t say what caused the rift between Barry and Moira, but Polly blames herself for it.”

I remembered how Barry had been blackmailed into doing Wesker’s bidding during the nightmare at the Spencer Mansion—how Wesker had threatened Kathy, Moira, and Polly. Barry went through so much for the sake of his family, but now he wasn’t speaking to Moira? I couldn’t imagine what had to have happened to cause this, but I knew it had to be bad.

I wanted to change the subject, and I could tell Claire wanted to, too. “Who’s Lott?”

“Lott Klein? He’s a survivor of the Sheena Island Outbreak, along with his little sister Lily. They both live at and maintain the safe house when Jim and Chris aren’t home. Lott’s a little antisocial, and Lily hardly says anything, but from what I understand this is all an improvement from how they were after they were rescued.” She laughed a little. “Barry suspects that there’s something going on between Lott and Polly and he’s not happy about it.”

“Why not?”

“Well Polly is seventeen and Lott is twenty-three. But Lott lives here and Polly lives in Canada so they’ve only really communicated online. I personally can’t tell if there’s anything going on between them, but Lott does seem to act softer around both Lily and Polly. Otherwise he’s usually very tense.”

I could already tell that my vacation was going to be very interesting. “Is there anyone else there?”

“Unfortunately you just missed Bruce McGivern and his family—they left yesterday. But Bruce’s partner in US-STRATCOM is still there. You know him—Carlos.”

I jerked up in my seat and gaped at her in shock. “ _Carlos_ is there?!”

“Yes,” Claire told me. “And he’s very eager to see you again, Jill. Before I left though he went off to bed, but you’ll see him tomorrow morning. I also have good word that Rebecca Chambers will be arriving in a few days as well. I guess she also got word that you’re coming and wants to see you. Ah.” The car suddenly came to a stop in front a white gate. “Home, sweet home.”

I watched Claire punch in the security code for the gate, and it swung open. The long driveway was made of gravel, and palm trees framed the road. As we drove onto the property I almost felt like I was dreaming. Was I really going to be spending a week’s vacation at a resort-like safe house with my friends? It was too good to be true. I pinched myself as hard as I could just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. After a few moments I let out a sharp sigh of relief. I wasn’t dreaming.

_The only thing that would make this perfect would if Chris were here._

I closed my eyes, feeling them sting slightly, but I forced my emotions under control. There was no way I would allow myself to be disappointed. Chris would not want to know that I wouldn’t be having a good time because he wasn’t there with me. I had to have a good time. I _had_ to.

Claire brought the car to a stop at the front door. The front of the safe house looked like a white Spanish villa, and I couldn’t help but gape from my seat. There front doors were two thick dark wood double doors, and directly above the front door was a balcony with double glass doors undoubtedly leading to a bedroom. Claire grinned at me as she shut off the car. “There’s five bedrooms on the first floor and four on the second. Jim and Lily’s bedrooms are on the first floor, and Lott’s is on the second floor. That’s Chris’s bedroom.” Claire pointed to the balcony over the front door. “Two bedroom are available, both on the second floor, so I’ll you the one I’ve been using.”

I could only nod as I climbed out of the car. I couldn’t really see my surroundings because it was nighttime, but I knew the property was massive and undoubtedly as magnificent as the house. It looked _very_ flashy for a safe house, and I knew then why Chris had Jim’s name on the lease and not his own. It would make sure any terrorist would never find this house.

_And as flashy as this looks, it certainly doesn’t look like a safe house._

I opened the backdoor to get my duffle bag. I had no possessions to bring with me for the trip, but Claire had been nice enough to prepare a bag for me with clothing and toiletries. She’d brought the bag with her to pick me up so I could examine it, and I was satisfied with what I saw. The clothing was loose and revealing, but I also had to contend with the temperatures of Hawaii so I didn’t mind. I slung the bag over my shoulder when the front door slammed open so hard and loud that both Claire and I jumped violently.

But the voice that followed made my heart jump into my throat. “Jill.”

I spun around, my mouth hanging open and tears stinging my eyes. The name formed on my lips but it only came out as a whisper. “ _Barry_.”

Barry Burton left the entryway and raced over to me. I met him halfway and he picked me up in a tight hug, lifting me straight off the ground. I clenched my teeth to try to prevent myself from sobbing, but I choked and tears slid down my cheeks. Barry’s hug was so tight that it almost felt painful but I didn’t care. Barry was almost shouting as he held onto me for dear life. “You’re here! You’re alive! I can’t believe it! When Chris said…I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but you’re really here!”

I knew I had missed Barry, but I didn’t realize just how much until this moment. Until I was crying my eyes out with my emotions out of control. We’d been through so much together, and he even risked his life to save me in Raccoon City. Barry had always been a true friend to me, and seeing him for the first time in _years_ was so overwhelming.

But even in this moment, I couldn’t prevent a singular thought from entering my mind.

_I wish Chris was here with us._

As I got my crying under control, I felt a new presence beside us. “Calm down, Barry. You’re going to crush this poor thing to death.”

“I-I’m sorry, Kathy.” Barry set me down, and I felt a little dizzy from crying so hard. Claire came to my side and gave me a handkerchief as Barry slid an arm around Kathy. “Jill, you’ve met Kathy before. Polly’s asleep inside, but…” he quickly shook his head. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you, Jill. How great it is knowing you’re alive!”

I smiled at him. “I’m glad to be alive too.”

“Oh, I wish Chris was here. He—” Barry cut himself off and shook his head. “Let’s get you inside. You’re probably exhausted from your flight. Don’t you have to catch your flight too, Claire?”

“In a little bit,” Claire said. She accepted back her now soaked handkerchief. “I’ll show Jill the bedrooms first. Unless you guys want to catch up?”

I shrugged. “I’m fine with—”

“No, you should get some rest first. We’ll have plenty of time catch up.” Barry waved us towards the house. “Come in.”

The interior of the house was as impressive as the exterior. From the entryway I saw a huge living room to the northwest with three leather couches in front of a large flat-screen television. Along the far wall were massive windows and glass sliding doors. To the east of the entryway I saw a huge kitchen that was in disarray—dirty plates were stacked high on an island in the center of the kitchen.

“Lott forget to load the dishwasher,” Kathy said, shrugging. “I’ll take care of it. You go on up to bed, Jill.” She headed into the kitchen.

“There’s so much I want to say to you,” Barry said, reaching out to touch my arm. “But it can wait. Go and get settled. And Claire, don’t miss your flight.”

“I know,” Claire said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s go, Jill.”

“Right.” I started to follow, but Barry’s hold on my arm stopped me. I turned to look at him, and Claire also stopped in her tracks. “Barry?”

“What?” Barry looked confused, but then looked down. He noticed he was still hanging onto my arm and quickly let me go. “O-Oh, sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it.” But the emotions surged up inside me once more. I leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek. “I’ve missed you, Barry.”

“Me too, Jill. Me too.” Barry’s voice grew lower as well, and though he remained outwardly calm I saw tears welling up in his eyes. I forced a smile at him before turning to follow Claire towards the stairs. The stairwell was tucked into a corner in the northeastern side of the living room, and the winded up slightly. In the hallway upstairs Claire paused and waited for me. As I ascended the stairs, I noticed out the corner of my eye that Barry was still standing in the entryway, watching me leave. I ducked my head and hurried upstairs.

“This is Lott’s room, obviously,” Claire said, motioning to the closed door in front of the stairwell. There was a sign hanging on the door that said _Lott_. “And that’s Chris’s room.” She pointed down the hall to my right to a door directly at the end of the hallway. There was also a sign hanging there that said _Chris_. “The other two rooms on this floor are available. I’ll show you the one I’ve been using.” Claire turned down the hallway to my left. “It’s nice and spacious, and don’t worry—the bedding’s been rotated so you’re getting clean sheets. The room’s this way.” She began moving down the hallway.

I didn’t follow her, however. I stood there staring at Chris’s room. “Jill?” Claire called out quietly to me.

I glanced at her. “Did Chris say he was stopping by here?”

Claire slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry. Last I heard he’s still on a mission. Even though he owns this house he unfortunately isn’t able to get out here much. We gave him his own designated bedroom as a courtesy to him, since we wouldn’t be able to stay in a place like this without him.”

“Can I use Chris’s room?” I asked her.

Claire looked surprised by my question. I raised my hands slightly. “N-Never mind. I can use one of the other—”

“No, it’s fine,” Claire interrupted me. “That room _is_ Chris’s room, but truthfully he doesn’t care who uses his room when he’s not here because of how little time he spends here. Jim’s a lot more territorial about his own room, and won’t give it up for anyone, but he lives here full-time so his situation is different from Chris’s. Since it doesn’t look like Chris will be back while you’re here, I don’t see any issue in you using the room.”

“Thank you.”

“Go ahead and get yourself settled, Jill. I’ve got to grab my stuff and be on my way. I…” Claire hesitated before trailing off entirely. I saw her hands raise slightly; it almost looked like she wanted to give me a hug. After a moment though her hands rested down at her sides. She swallowed thickly and shook her head, as though she were composing herself. “Good night, Jill.”

“You too. Have a safe flight.” I wasn’t close to Claire and I felt terrible about it. She was Chris’s only sister, but because of how drastically different the lives the Redfield siblings’ lives were I almost never interacted her. This was the most time I’ve ever really spent with her, and it was awkward. I didn’t want it to be awkward. I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you, Claire. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

Claire’s eyes widened, and I saw tears forming there. I forced a smile at her before turning to head down the hall towards Chris’s room. My hand reached for the door knob when I heard Claire behind me. “Jill?”

Her voice was unsteady. I steeled my nerves, trying to not get emotional again, and turned to face her. “Yes?”

Claire stood there for a long moment of silence. She swallowed repeatedly and blinked rapidly, clearly fighting back tears as she struggled to speak. “I…I’m so glad that you’re alive, Jill.”

I stared at her, tears stinging my eyes once more. We may not have been close, but her sincerity warmed my heart. I nodded to her and smiled painfully. “Thank you, Claire. That means a lot to me.”

Claire nodded and hurried back towards her room. Teardrops slid down my cheeks before her door closed behind her, and I quickly wiped them away as I entered Chris’s room. It was dark, but a quick flip of the light switch illuminated the room.

The room was simplistic. It was a large suite-like room with a king-sized bed with black satin sheets in front of the wall opposite the door. On both sides of the bed were two side tables, and to the left of the door was a dark wood dresser that was almost as tall as me, with two ornate chairs on either side of the dresser. The glass double-doors leading to the balcony were along the left wall, and there was a second door on the right. I glanced inside and saw that it was the bathroom.

I was exhausted, and didn’t feel like unpacking completely. I set my duffle bag on top of the dresser and pulled out a blue tank top and shorts for my pajamas. I also grabbed my cell and phone and got changed as it turned on. I plugged it in at the side table and sat down on the bed as I quickly sent a text to Chris. _“The house is perfect. Thank you so much for arranging this trip for me.”_ I didn’t tell him I was using his bedroom, but I knew I would eventually. I set the phone down and waited to see if Chris would send me a reply. Three minutes later I did not, but I shrugged it off and shut off the light.

I climbed underneath the covers, somewhat surprised that Chris would choose black satin sheets for his bed. But I also remembered that he was hardly there, and this was most likely the bedding set Jim or Claire or someone else chose for him. I curled up in the middle of the large bed, my body and mind quickly relaxing. The bed smelled like Chris, and it was a great comfort to me. He may not be here with me, but I could feel his presence in this room (even if he wasn’t here enough). I slid my hands underneath one of the pillows and inhaled deeply as I pulled the covers over my head.

I froze, feeling a jolt in my body, and pushed the sheets back. I brought them to my face and inhaled again. The scent was unmistakable.

I shifted onto my back and stared at the ceiling in the darkness of the room. After a moment, I said aloud what I was thinking.

“I thought Chris quit smoking.”

* * *

_I opened my eyes and was almost blinded by the bright lights. I squeezed my eyes shut and reached up to rub at my eyes before opening them more slowly. As I did this, I felt a prickling of pain in the crook of my left arm. I looked at my arm and saw that an IV was sticking out of my arm._

_I was in a hospital._

_“Jill.” Someone had been seated to my left and they quickly came to my bedside. I stared at Brad Vickers in stunned silence as Alpha Team’s helicopter pilot began quickly babbling at me. “Oh Jill I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! W-When I saw those things tearing Joseph apart I p-p-panicked! But I knew I couldn’t just abandon you all to die! I flew all night and—”_

_The memories surged fast and painfully in my mind. I didn’t remember the helicopter ride away from the Spencer estate. I didn’t even remember **boarding** the helicopter. The last thing I remember was facing off against that monster with Rebecca, Barry, and Chris—_

_I sat up, even though my vision swam. Brad flailed his hands as I yanked the IV out of my arm. “Jill, don’t! The doctor said you needed to rest! Jill, stop!”_

_I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and only then did I realize we weren’t alone. In the bed next to mine was the STARS rookie, Rebecca. The teenager was still unconscious, undisturbed by the commotion Brad was causing. I could only imagine how exhausted she had to have been (and the horrors she herself must have experienced) to not even stir from the panicked shouting._

_“Jill!” Brad shouted again as one of the nurses came in. “Ms. Valentine, I must advise you to get back into bed. You need to rest—”_

_“Where are they?” I demanded, glancing between Brad and the nurse. “Where is he?”_

_“W-Where is who?” Brad asked stupidly. If I was at full health, I would have wrung his chicken neck. “Chris!” I shouted at him. “Where is he?! And Barry, too! Are they here?!”_

_“O-Oh,” Brad said, visibly relaxing. “T-They’re just down the hall. But—JILL!” he shouted after me as I stumbled from the room._

_“Ms. Valentine, you need to—someone stop her!” the nurse shouted. I ignored them both and limped down the hallway, ignoring the other patients and LPNs gaping at me and telling me to stop. The sounds muddled in my mind until my own ragged breathing was the only thing I could hear. I needed to see them—him. I needed to see with my own eyes that he was alive._

_They did not give me the room number, but I found the room they shared. I saw Barry first. He lay unconscious in his bed but to his left…_

_I sighed sharply, and tears stung my eyes when I saw Chris. Like Barry he was unconscious in his bed. The last thing…the very last thing I could remember was before I woke up was Chris. He’d given me back my gun beforehand, and I remembered my horror and frustration when I emptied my gun into that monster—Tyrant was what Chris had called it—and it how the bullets didn’t even faze the creature. I may as well have been using a paper fan._

_I remembered how it turned its attention towards me, and how in a fit of panic I threw my empty handgun at it. I remembered how my weapon bounced ineffectively off Tyrant’s forehead before it charged full-force at me. I remembered diving out of the way, and those claws very nearly slicing down the right side of my body—_

_And I remembered Chris shouting “ **HEY**!” and how I saw him hoist the rocket launcher we’d left in the helicopter onto his shoulder and firing as the Tyrant charged at him._

_And I remembered the Tyrant swatting the rocket away like it was a fly…_

_But Chris was alive. I could see his steady heartbeat on the monitor, same with Barry. But my eyes were on Chris, and I pressed a hand over my mouth. We had experienced a true horror in just a single night and so many people had died, but we were alive._

_We survived._

_I lowered my hand from my mouth, and reached out with it as I entered the room. I reached out for Chris—_

_A black gloved hand snapped over my wrist, startling me. I turned to my left and recoiled as I saw Wesker standing there. “Not so fast, Jill.”_

* * *

I gasped harshly as I came awake, sitting up partially. I whimpered softly as panic overtook my senses. After several moments I recognized my surroundings and sat up fully. I pressed the heels of my hands over my eyes as I tried to force myself to calm down. Gradually, my heartbeat slowed and my breathing evened out.

“It’s okay,” I told myself, leaning over my knees. “He’s dead. He’s dead. He can’t hurt us anymore. He can’t hurt _me_ anymore. He’ll never hurt me again. It’s okay.”

I repeated this mantra to myself several times, focusing on the words to settle me. I had to keep reminding myself of it. Wesker was dead. He would not hurt me again, and he would not hurt Chris again. Finally, my nerves cooled and I lowered my hands. I checked my cell phone and groaned when I saw the time. 8:05 am. Even on vacation I couldn’t manage to sleep in!

But someone else caught my eye on my phone that quickly lifted my spirits. Chris sent me a reply! I opened the text and saw a simple message: _“Your welcome. Have fun and enjoy your stay.”_ It was a simple message, but it pleased me immensely and I hugged the phone to my chest. _Thank you, Chris._

Wesker was dead, and I needed to let go of what he did to me or else it would rule my life. It would invade my life like it invaded my memories. I did not see Wesker at Raccoon Hospital after we survived that nightmare. I _did_ cause a commotion at the hospital when I left my room to see Chris, but I had managed to make it into the room. Chris even woke up briefly and smiled at me, until the doctors came in and dragged me back to my room.

But we had made it. _I_ made it. I’d survived so much, and I would continue to survive more ordeals. But I would be all right…I _had_ to be all right.

I took a quick shower, setting up my toiletries next to Chris’s, and got dressed in a white tank top and white sweat pants. After thinking about it, I decided to wear the blue bikini Claire had gotten for me underneath my clothes. Since it was a coastal house, and it looked like it was going to be a nice day, I definitely wanted to swim in the Pacific.

I headed downstairs and saw that the living room was empty, but the sliding doors to my right were open to a round veranda where several people were sitting at a large round table eating breakfast. A radio was propped up on the rail blasting pop music. Behind the table I saw a stairwell that led down to the beach. Barry was sitting between Kathy and Polly across from the door, and Polly was talking to a tawny-haired young man sitting beside her—Lott Klein, no doubt. Directly in front of the door was a tawny-haired young woman with her back to me, and I knew this had to be Lily Klein. It looked like she was reading a book on a Kindle. Both Polly and Lily were wearing bikinis, despite the time of day, but I felt how warm the air was outside when I stepped out onto the veranda. “Good morning,” I said.

Everyone at the table looked up, and Lily turned to face me. Barry looked like he was about to say something, but a shout to my left silenced him. “ **JILL**!”

A body slammed into mine, and before I could react I was hoisted up into the air and quickly spun around. Then my body was dipped and I was given a full, closed-mouth kiss right on the mouth. I was still too stunned to react when the kiss ended with a loud “MUAH!” and I was pulled back into a standing position. I was then crushed in another hug. “Jill, it’s you! It’s really you! I’m so happy to see that you’re alive!”

I regained my bearings and laughed breathlessly. “Hello, Carlos.” I pushed him away gently. “Long time no see.”

Carlos Oliveira was only dressed in green swimming trunks and had a full-body bronze tan. He was laughed like a gleeful child and he hugged me again. “I-I can’t believe it! You have no idea how glad I am to see you, Jill! When I heard what happened to you…I went to your funeral and visited your grave and everything! I’m so glad that you’re alive, _chica_!”

I hadn’t seen Carlos in almost a decade, but now it felt like we’d never been apart. He risked his life to save mine when I was infected in Raccoon City. I owed him so much and I valued him as one of my closest friends, but I felt guilty for everything I had put him through and for not having enough contact with him. Again, I was grateful to Chris for this opportunity to reconnect with my friends. “I’m glad to be alive too, Carlos.”

“Jill.” Polly stood up from her seat and gave me an awkward smile. “Long time no see.” It definitely felt strange seeing Polly as a teenager. The last time I saw was years before my apparent death, and she had still been a child. I looked her over and paused. Her skin was lightly tanned, and the tan brought out a circular scar in her right side. The scar…looked like a bullet wound.

“I-It’s nice to see you too Polly,” I told her, looking back up at her face.

“I’ve been looking forward to this!” Carlos said, hugging me with one arm. “Bruce wanted to meet you too, but he had to get back with civilization with Fong Ling and their son. But I’m sure you’ll meet him again sometime.”

“Claire said Bruce is your partner in US-STRATCOM,” I said. “I didn’t realize you had joined US-STRATCOM.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been with them for a few years,” Carlos said, shrugging. “Bruce also had his run-ins with Umbrella too, same as his wife. But I’ve been thinking about joining BSAA.”

“Really? That’s good to hear.”

“I’m glad. Who knows—maybe when you return to active duty we’ll be put on the same team? Just like old times, eh Jill?”

I smiled at him. “That would be nice.”

“Carlos has been acting like an annoying puppy over the last few days waiting for you,” Lott scoffed, shaking his head. His tone was harsh, as was his expression and eyes. But I could tell there was no malice in his demeanor. “Everyone’s been bloody crazy over you.”

“We thought she was dead, Lott,” Barry said sharply.

“Dad, please,” Polly said. She glanced at Lott. “Jill’s gone through some terrible things, and we _did_ think she was dead.”

“Oh.” That was all Lott said, and he turned back to his breakfast.

“It’s fine, really,” I said, gesturing to Barry (who was about to rise out of his seat).

“So this is Lott,” Kathy said, giving Barry a look. He abruptly sat back down. “And that’s Lily.” She gestured to the girl in question. Lily nodded to me, her solemn expression unchanging. “And you obviously know Carlos.”

“Of course,” Carlos said, slinging an arm around my shoulders.

“Jim’s getting ready, but you should meet him shortly. Lily was nice enough to make breakfast Jill, would you like to get something to eat before going out to swim?”

“I don’t know if we should eat before hitting the water,” Carlos said, though he sat backwards at a seat at the table.

“That’s an old wives’ tale,” Polly said, checking her phone. She giggled and showed it to Lott, who cracked something of a smile.

“Just eggs and bacon,” Lily said. Her quiet voice startled me. “And toast.”

“Sure, I’m starving,” I said. The food was set up in the center of the table and I helped myself. “Thank you, Lily.”

“Hmm.” Lily turned back to her own food and continued reading her book.

“We can catch some waves later if you want,” Carlos said, grinning at me.

“Sounds good,” I said. I glanced at Barry. “Barry, can I talk to you in a little bit?”

“Of course,” Barry said. “Is something wrong?”

I shook my head. “I just wanted to ask you something in private.”

“Ooh, private,” Carlos teased, wiggling his fingers at me. I choked on my juice and Barry gave him a dirty look, even though Kathy also laughed at his statement.

“I’m going to be back late tonight.” A newcomer suddenly came out onto the veranda in a white business suit. Everyone at the table perked up as he set his briefcase down on the ground and helped himself to breakfast. “Has Jill Valentine arrived yet?”

“Jim, Jill’s right here,” Lott said, jabbing his thumb in my direction.

“Oh really?” Jim looked startled and embarrassed. He dropped his plate onto the table and came to my side. “Sorry for not being awake to greet you last night. I’m Jim Chapman, co-owner of this house. Please make yourself at home, Jill.”

I shook his hand. “Thank you, Jim.”

“Co-owner?” Lott echoed incredulously. “Since when?! Chris owns this house!”

“ _I_ gave Chris the most money to secure this house and my name is on the lease,” Jim retorted. “You’re just a freeloading punk!”

“Free-loading?! I do all the cleaning around here!”

“Guys, enough,” Barry interrupted. “We both know the two of you contribute greatly to this house.”

I had a feeling this was a fairly common occurrence with Jim and Lott. At least they stopped arguing and settled in eat breakfast.

“I hate these big meetings,” Jim said, his voice rising in tenor slightly as he ate. “I don’t know why I have to have so many of them!”

“Because you own the business,” Lott pointed out to him.

“He has a point,” Carlos said cheerfully.

Jim shook his head furiously and looked at me. “Did you have a good rest, Jill?”

“I did,” I lied. “Chris’s room is comfortable.”

The table abruptly went silent, and my stomach squirmed as I saw the color drain from Jim’s face. “You…You’re in Chris’s room?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” I said embarrassedly. “Is that okay? Claire said I could use it.”

“Of course it is,” Lott said, shrugging. “Chris hardly ever uses the room, so why not?”

“So you’re using his room?” Carlos asked, leaning his chin on the back of chair. “How come? There were other rooms available.”

I felt heat on my face and ducked over my plate. “I felt like it.”

“Chris’s bed is bigger than ours,” Lily said. “That’s why, isn’t it?”

“How do you know how big his bed is?!” Jim exclaimed at her, his tone slightly hysterical.

“I clean his room every day,” Lily said bluntly.

“O-Oh, of course you do.” Jim visibly relaxed. He grabbed a napkin and wiped at his forehead. He seemed to be sweating profusely and he looked nervous.

“What did you think she meant?!” Lott snapped at him.

“Nothing, nothing at all. I-I have to finish getting ready for work. Excuse me.” He barely finished the sentence before running back into the house.

“He forgot his briefcase,” Carlos said, swooping down to grab it. “I’ll be right back.” He disappeared back into the house.

“Jill, would you like to have that talk now?” Barry asked me. I hadn’t finished my breakfast, but I nodded and stood. “Yes, let’s go.”

* * *

Barry led me into a game room. There was a large pool table in the center of the room, with a full bar along one wall and arcade machines on the opposite side of the room. He made sure the doors and windows were closed before leaning against the pool table. “So, what’s up Jill?”

I hesitated for moment, wringing my hands a little, before I gathered the nerve to ask. “When did Chris start smoking again?”

Barry stiffened, and his face twisted into an uncomfortable expression. He looked away from me. “How did you know?”

“I-I could smell cigarettes in his room,” I lied lamely. I didn’t want to tell him I smelled cigarette smoke on his sheets. Even though he didn’t come to this safe house often, I still smelled smoke faintly on his sheets. That indicated to me that he’d resumed smoking…and heavily at that. “I thought he quit, so I—”

“I’m not the person you should be asking this, Jill,” Barry interrupted me, looking at me. “It’s better if you ask Chris this.”

“But I don’t know the next time I’ll see Chris,” I reminded him. “And this isn’t something I should ask him in a text message. Barry, I…” I moved to stand closer to him. “Is he all right?”

Barry shook his head. His hands were gripping the side of the table. “No, he’s not all right. He hasn’t been all right for a long time.”

I knew it wasn’t Barry’s intention, but his words still hurt me. I hugged my arms and looked away from him. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Barry demanded harshly. “None of this is your fault! Don’t ever blame yourself for any of this, Jill! Chris sure as hell doesn’t blame you! It…” he waved an impatient hand. “I’m sorry. I know how this sounds, and I don’t mean to make it sound this way. But I can’t betray Chris’s confidence. He’s my best friend, Jill. And I could never give you the proper answers to any of your questions the way he could. I…yes. He’s smoking again. And yes, he’s been in a rough place for a long time. But that’s hopefully going to change now.”

“Change?” I looked at him again. “How?”

“Because you’re alive,” Barry told me. “You’re alive and you’re safe. These two things are the only things Chris has cared about in the last few years. It’s like he’s been obsessed, Jill. But now that he’s accomplished his goals, I _know_ he will get better. I know he will be fine because of you.”

I nodded quickly, even as I struggled to find the proper. “Yes. I-I’ll do what I can to make sure he’s fine. He’s my partner. He’s also _my_ best friend, too. I have to—”

“Jill.” Barry gave me a peculiar look. I blinked with confusion. “What?”

“Jill, I understand,” he said. “I understand what’s going on between you two.”

I flushed with embarrassment. “Barry, it isn’t like that.”

“What I’m saying,” he interrupted me. “Is that I know that with any relationship there’s a line that can or can’t be crossed. Chris and you have this line and you _couldn’t_ cross it. You couldn’t afford to cross it because of everything you both had at stake. You two are friends, I know. But I know that your friendship with Chris is not the same as your friendship with me.” He choked on a short laugh. “And I sure as hell know that _my_ friendship with Chris is not the same as his friendship with you.”

I closed my eyes and let out a sharp breath. Barry…he was right. My relationship with Chris was unique in that I didn’t honestly know how to identify it. We were partners, good friends. No…we were more than friends. I knew this, and I’m sure Chris knew it too. We’d been more than friends for a long time, but it had always been something unspoken between us. It was something we never sat down and discussed. We just both instinctively knew what our feelings for each other were, and we knew that nothing could come of these feelings. We couldn’t afford to allow anything to come of these feelings, not with the way our lives were.

It was something we never talked about, but I guess it was obvious to everyone.

“I don’t know what to say,” I said finally, looking back at Barry.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Barry said. “You’re a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. I’m just telling you how I see the situation. You were gone, thought dead, and now you’re back. If you’re both comfortable with going back to the way things were, then that’s fine. But Jill.”

“What?”

“Do you think Chris and you can go back to the way things were?”

My mouth hung open in silence for a long time. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what the right answer was. I wasn’t entirely sure what _I_ wanted. So I answered the only way I knew how.

“I don’t know.”

* * *

“—go up there and grab them!”

“I can’t!”

My head was still spinning after my conversation with Barry, and my emotions were a mess. Barry seemed to accept my answer and let me go, but his demeanor…he seemed _disappointed_.

But didn’t know what the right answer was, and Chris wasn’t here to help me answer it.

Instead of heading towards the veranda I wanted to go back upstairs and hide in my—Chris’s bed. In the hallway leading towards the first floor bedrooms however, I found Carlos and Jim speaking in harsh whispers.

“Can’t you get it? Pretty please?” Jim asked him.

“Why should I get it when you put it up there?” Carlos told him. “Go and get it yourself before Jill finds out!”

“B-But how the hell do you think she’s going to react if she sees me walking out of the room with it? She’s a soldier! She can probably snap my scrawny neck with her thighs!”

“Ohhhh yes, she can!” Carlos laughed.

“W-What?!” Jim exclaimed.

“What are you two talking about?” I interjected.

Jim let out a high-pitched shriek while Carlos tsked at me. “Eavesdropping on other people’s conversations is quite rude, _chica_!”

“And gossiping about people while they’re within earshot isn’t rude?” I retorted, though I kept my tone light.

“I-I’m late!” Jim squeaked. He grabbed his briefcase from Carlos. “I’m very, very, very late for work!” He bolted past me and ran straight for the front door. Seconds later he slammed it shut behind him.

“Well, I’m late too,” Carlos said, stretching his arms over his head. “I need to catch those waves while they’re coming in hot.”

He started to walk past me, but I shot my arm out and blocked his path. “Not so fast.”

“ _Sí_?” he asked me in a perfectly innocent tone.

“What did Jim put in Chris’s room that he doesn’t want me to see?” I asked him.

Carlos laughed loudly, slapping a hand on his thigh. “Oh, you won’t believe it!” he leaned in close and whispered the answer into my ear.

I was stunned by the response and reeled back. “W-What?!”

“Isn’t it hilarious?!” Carlos laughed even harder.

“But _why_ would he hide that in Chris’s room?!” I demanded.

“Because it was supposed to be a joke! Jim wanted to play a fun prank on him, but now he’s panicking since you’ve taken his room! He thinks you’re going to find it!”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed painfully while squeezing my eyes shut. “If Jim naturally pulls stunts like this, I don’t know how he could’ve possibly survived the Outbreak in Raccoon City.”

“Because he’s the luckiest man alive,” Carlos said. I looked at him and he shrugged. “How else do you think he’s made it this far?”

I shook my head and turned away. “This is foolish, and _he’s_ an idiot for doing this.” I started to walk away when Carlos called out to me. I looked at him over my shoulder. “What?”

Carlos grinned from ear to ear, and waggled his eyebrows at me as he folded his arms over his bare chest. “Would you like to know where they are?”

* * *

I didn’t know why I was doing this.

I was on my knees in front of the side table in Chris’s bedroom. The same side table where my cell phone was charging. There was a door to a cubby on the table. I reached for the door and held the knob between two fingers for a moment. Then I abruptly pulled it open.

There they were. A large box of _Magnum condoms_.

I closed the door quickly. After a moment I opened it again, not quite believing what I was seeing. The box of condoms was still there. The box was so large that it was at an angle inside the cubby. I didn’t understand Jim’s sense of humor, and he thought hiding a _massive_ box of condoms in Chris’s room was funny.

Curious against my will, I pulled the box out the cubby. I sat down on the bed and set it on my lap. The box was bigger than the width of my thighs pressed together. I broke the seal on the box and opened it. I’d never seen so many condoms in my life.

I reached into the box and picked one up. I held it up high, and saw it was attached in a _long_ chain of the other condoms. Unable to help myself, I pulled the condom chain out of the box with both hands as though I were pulling a rope out of a hole. The beginning of the chain hit the floor next to my feet, but there were still more condoms on the chain inside the box. After a minute or so I stopped pulling the chain out, and looked at it in my two hands.

Laughter bubbled up inside my chest, and within seconds I was in stitches. I laughed so hard and so loud that it echoed off the walls and shook my body. Tears stung my eyes as I tried and failed to make sense of why anyone would ever need this many condoms at once, and why the chain was so long. Trying to make sense of this only made me more hysterical, and I laughed even harder.

The door to the bedroom swung open, and Lott stormed inside. What’s all the comm— _whoa_!”

Polly followed him and made a face at my display. “Ew.”

I didn’t even feel embarrassed. This was too funny.

“Those are the condoms Jim bought last week,” Lott said, shielding Polly’s eyes with one hand. “I thought it was pretty pathetic, but he bought them for Chris? That was pretty stupid.”

I was finally able to get my laughter under control and wiped at my eyes as I gathered up the chain. “He wanted to play a prank on Chris.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Polly said, ducking out from behind Lott’s hand. “Uncle Chris doesn’t have the same sense of humor anymore.”

“What do want to do with them?” Lott asked me. “I can go and throw them in the git’s room if you want. It’ll probably save him from getting his arse kicked by Chris the next time he shows up.”

“No, it’s fine.” I waved a hand at them. “Thank you for your concern.”

Lott shrugged. “Fine. I look forward to seeing the fallout from this.”

“Jill, what are going to do with—” Polly began.

“Let’s go,” Lott interrupted, steering her towards the door. Left alone with the condoms again, I put the chain back in the box and closed the lid. After thinking about it for a few seconds more, I returned the box back to the cubby.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of ran away from me, so this fanfic will be three chapters long instead of two. I also took even more liberties with the characters in this chapter so I hope you don’t mind.

Chapter Two

* * *

 

**_“The self-destruct system has been activated. All personnel must evacuate immediately. Deactivating, and releasing all locks.”_ **

_The alarms and the monotone announcement startled me, and I quickly stood up from the bed. I’d done nothing but sit on the bed of the prison cell and mope for the last two hours. I remembered every ugly thing that happened before I’d ended up here. How Barry had tried to have me killed, how I confronted him afterwards, and how we both ended up being confronted by Lisa Trevor. I’d given him back his gun, and we faced off against that poor monster. Then…Then Barry had started to open up to me about what was going on, and about why he’d been acting so strangely—_

_And then Wesker came up behind me and slammed the butt of his gun against the back of my head. And the last thing I heard as I lost consciousness was Wesker and Barry getting into a shouting match over my life…_

_I remembered waking up in here, my weapons confiscated. How I sat up in delirium and confusion, until I saw Barry’s face at the door, staring at me._

_And I remembered pleading with him to let me out. But…_

**_“Barry, I get it. I’m not angry with you. I know you wouldn’t have done this if Wesker didn’t threaten you. But you have to let me out of here! Don’t leave me like this, please!”_ **

**_“Jill, I’m sorry. Do you think I like this? But that bastard gave me an ultimatum—this, or I lose my family. Don’t ask me to act against my family!”_ **

**_“I’m not asking you that Barry, but please don’t leave me here like! Please!”_ **

**_“Jill…”_ ** _Barry looked away then. I could see the pain in his expression, but he shook his head at me. **“Forgive me. But I have to do this.”**_

_And so Barry left me like that. But now the facility was going to self-detonate, and per the announcement all doors were unlocked. It was my opportunity to escape. I didn’t have a weapon, but I knew I could find one if I found a storage box somewhere!_

_I looked towards the security camera in the corner, and decided to chance it. I raced to the door and tried it for the umpteenth time. To my horror, the handle wouldn’t budge._

**_W-What? I don’t get it! I thought the all locked doors were released!_ **

_I tugged harder on the handle, but the door didn’t budge. I quickly panicked and began pounding my fists against the door. “HEY!” I screamed through the bars. “Help me! Chris, I’m here! Don’t leave me behind, please! **CHRIS**!”_

_I screamed myself hoarse, and pounded my fists against the unyielding door until my hands were so sore that I couldn’t feel them. No one came. They undoubtedly couldn’t hear me over the blaring alarms._

_I began hyperventilating as I stepped backwards, tears stinging my eyes. I knew I was in a sub-basement area. I’d heard Barry go up a flight of stairs, and I’d heard him lock the door behind him with three unique locks. The only way I was going to be let out of here was if Barry or Wesker let me out._

_But Wesker was the one who had me put in here. And since he was threatening Barry…_

**_I’m going to die here._ ** _My breathing grew louder and more ragged as I collapsed back onto the bed, hugging my arms. **I’ve been through so much, and I’m going to die here, locked up in this cell while this whole place blows to hell…**_

_I flung myself off the bed and frantically yanked and pulled on the door. I tried to put as much stress on the lock as I could. But no matter how hard I tugged and struggled, I couldn’t get it to budge._

_“Stupid FUCKING DOOR!” I screamed, kicking it with the flat of my foot. I burst into tears and pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes. I felt helpless and absolutely terrified as I sat back down on the bed. What could I do? I couldn’t get out of there! And the only people who knew where I was were the people who put me down here! I groaned in anguish and clasped my hands over my legs, hunching over slightly. **It wasn’t supposed to end like this! I…**_

_“Jill?”_

_My head snapped up at this voice. Relief quickly flooded through me and I jumped to my feet. “Chris!”_

_Unable to help myself, I raced over to him and threw my arms around him. I felt him hug me back and for a moment I hung on to him for dear life. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Chris found me! I was getting out of here!_

_But I needed to tell him. I needed to warn him…_

_“You okay?” he asked as he let me go._

_“Chris, it’s Wesker,” I quickly blurted out. “He—”_

_“I know,” Chris interrupted me. “But first, let’s get out of here. Here’s your gun—I found it in one of the storage boxes.” He handed it to me._

_He knew? Oh, but of course he knew! How else was he able to find me?_

_“How did you find me?” I asked him nonetheless as I followed him out of the cell._

_“Barry gave me the codes to unlock the door,” Chris said over his shoulder. “Wesker was blackmailing him, but after Wesker shot Rebecca Barry turned on him.”_

_“Wait, Rebecca?”_

_“She’s the rookie on Bravo’s team.”_

_“Oh, right. Is she all right?”_

_“Well she’s wearing Kevlar so she’s fine. Then Wesker unleashed this monster, and…” Chris shook his head as we raced up the stairs. “It doesn’t matter. Wesker’s dead now, and all we have to do now is escape.”_

_“Right.” I almost laughed with relief as we reached the double doors. Chris lowered his gun and tugged it open—_

**_BANG!_ **

_I screamed as Chris’s head whipped backwards, and blood shot out from between his eyes. I fell to my knees as his body slammed into the floor. “CHRIS!”_

_Chris’s vacant eyes stared back at me as blood gushed from the bullet-wound in his head. I let out a hysterical sob as I tried to futilely administer first-aid to him. But deep down I knew that he was dead._

_“Did you both really think you could stop me?”_

_My body froze in horror and my jaw dropped as Wesker stepped through the double-doors. Smoke was rising from the barrel of his gun. “It’s impossible, of course. You’ll never be able to stop me, Jill. I’m here, like I always will be.” He pointed the gun at me. “I’m inside you Jill, just like with Chris. I’ll always be that lingering presence in your minds that will never go away. I changed you, Jill, and you will never be able to undo those changes. You will never be at peace…and neither will Chris.”_

_I trembled as I looked at Chris’s prone body. I slowly closed my eyes and let out a sharp breath. Then, I forced the words out. “This isn’t real.”_

_“Really?” Wesker asked in a dull voice._

_I quickly raised my weapon and fired. Bullet after bullet struck Wesker in the face, spraying blood everywhere. He swatted feebly with his free hand, but he couldn’t stop me. He stumbled backwards into the hallway and I followed him, still firing._

_“This isn’t real!” I shrieked. “You’re dead! You’re **fucking dead**! You will NEVER hurt us again, you bastard! Go back to hell where you fucking belong!”_

_Wesker collapsed onto his back on the floor, his body unmoving. I’d shot him so many times that his face was destroyed and unrecognizable. I kicked at his limp hand, and his body didn’t move. Finally, I lowered my arm and closed my eyes. I reached out with my mind and found the **real** memory of this moment. “Chris, let’s get going.”_

_“I’m coming, Jill.” Behind me, Chris emerged from the doorway as though he’d never been shot._

* * *

A cool hand touched my shoulder. “Jill?”

I blinked slowly as I came awake, although I was slightly relieved that I’d fallen asleep with my sunglasses on. The sun was at a lower arch in the sky but it was still shining brightly. I vaguely remembered coming out onto the veranda in the blue bikini, and stretching out on the outdoor chaise to relax a little before heading in the water. The circular scar directly over my heart stood out strongly against my pale skin, and I could tell that it made some of the others uncomfortable, but I wasn’t self-conscious about the scar and so I didn’t care about showing it off. I’d fallen asleep though in the chaise, although I shouldn’t have been surprised. My sleep overnight was still broken with nightmares and scattered memories, and I continued to wake up earlier and earlier each day despite going to bed later.

But seeing the person sitting on the chaise with me, I was glad to have been woken up. “Rebecca.”

Rebecca Chambers had tears in her eyes as she looked me over. She still had the pixie-like appearance she had when I first met her. I took off my sunglasses and sat up to give her a hug. “How have you been?”

“I’m fine, just fine! But I just…I can’t believe this, Jill!” she clung to me for dear life. “I-I went to your funeral, but I couldn’t allow myself to believe that you were dead! And now here you are! You’re alive!” She pulled back slightly laughed softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” I told her. She held my hand suddenly and pressed two fingers to my wrist. It was then I noticed that a thin blanket had been draped over me. Someone had covered me when I fell asleep. “I got here on Sunday, and have spent the last two days relaxing in a tropical paradise. How long are you staying, Rebecca?”

“Just a few hours, unfortunately. I’d wanted to stay longer, but I just got a new assignment. I have a six-hour layover here though, so I wanted to spend it with you guys.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Rebecca.”

Rebecca laughed. “There ae worse things than having a six-hour layover in Kauai! Your blood pressure’s good.” She withdrew her hand and tucked strands of my hair behind my ear. “I-I’m just glad for this opportunity! I almost didn’t recognize you, Jill. Oh!” she winced. “I-I’m sorry! That was completely insensitive!”

“No, it’s okay Rebecca. I do look different than I did before, but it doesn’t bother me.” The wind chose that opportunity to pick up, and other loose strands of my hair blew in front of my face. Strands that were yellow blonde…and not brown. “It’s all right Rebecca. I’ll just find some hair dye to restore it to my original color.”

“Whatever makes you comfortable, Jill.” Rebecca gently probed both sides of my neck. “Your lymph nodes feel okay, too. Have you felt feverish or nauseas, Jill?”

“If you’re asking if I have cannibalistic urges Rebecca, the answer is no.” I gently pushed her hands away. “Relax, Rebecca. I’m fine. The BSAA wouldn’t have let me come here if I wasn’t well, and I know Chris wouldn’t have let me leave if I wasn’t well.”

“I’m sorry, Jill. I was allowing the doctor in me to take over.” Rebecca nodded as she stood up. “I trust in Chris’s judgment. He wants to take care of you, make sure you’re safe Jill.”

I shrugged, trying to come off nonchalant. “We both know that’s in Chris’s nature, Rebecca.”

“It may be,” Rebecca said softly. “But your case is a special one Jill, as we all know.”

“Well I _am_ his partner. It’s no wonder he would give me special treatment.” It was similar to the response I’d given Barry, and I was equally unsure of the words now as I was then.

Rebecca’s breath hitched slightly, and she looked away. My hands tensed against the cushion of the chaise as I stared up at her. “Rebecca?”

“Jill, have you spoken with Chris lately?” Rebecca asked finally, looking back at me.

“We’ve texted each other over the last few days,” I said. “W—”

“I mean, have you _talked_ with Chris lately?” Rebecca interrupted me.

I knew what she meant, and I slowly shook my head. “After we were evaced out of Kijuju the BSAA took me into custody and put me in quarantine. Wesker had exposed me to—” the horrific memories surged up strongly and I quickly shook my head. “What I mean is that the BSAA wanted to make sure I wasn’t infected with Uroboros or some other virus, and that I wasn’t a carrier who could infect other people. Chris and Sheva vouched for me but the bureaucrats weren’t satisfied by their word alone and even put _them_ into quarantine for safety reasons. They were both released relatively quickly but not me. Thousands of tests later, I’m officially in the clear. However, the BSAA—and the US Government—don’t feel comfortable allowing me to leave the labs just yet and so they’ve been my home.” I shrugged slightly. “Since I’ve spent most of the time in quarantine, the few times I’ve seen Chris we’ve either had bullet-proof glass separating us, or we had supervised visits. All while under surveillance.”

“How is he with you, Jill?”

I shrugged. “He’s Chris.” But even as I said it I began to doubt myself. Once I was let out of quarantine I was allowed to see Chris in the same room, even if it was only three visits thus far. All three times I saw him he greeted me and said goodbye to me with a tight hug. Admittedly I liked hugging him because I felt safe when I was enclosed in his arms, even if we didn’t hug often. Then we sat together and talked about the odd subject, but never anything in-depth about ourselves. Just idle talk to fill in silence, I suppose.

And…and I remembered noticing that Chris had developed a habit of reaching out to touch me during our conversations. On the knee, on the arm, and on the hand. He didn’t even seem consciously aware of it. Not that he sudden physical affection made me uncomfortable—quite the opposite. Instead when he reached unconsciously reached out to touch, I in turn unconsciously leaned into the touch and took comfort from it.

 _Of course I’m comforted by Chris. He’s my partner. I don’t trust anyone else in the world more than him._ I kept telling myself this, but knots of discomfort were forming in my gut.

Rebecca nodded her understanding from my statement, and pressed a hand to her chin, clearly in deep thought. After a moment she asked, “Have you tried calling him?”

“He’s on a mission somewhere,” I said. “I don’t want to disturb him in the middle of a job.”

“Hmm.” She still looked thoughtful. I was once again reminded of my own conversation with Barry days earlier and sat up fully. “What’s wrong?”

“Chris has changed,” Rebecca told me quietly. She sat back down next to me. “Ever since y…I don’t mean to distress you Jill, and this is in no way your fault. But I would highly recommend that you give him a call. It doesn’t matter,” she said firmly when I tried to interrupt her. “That he’s on a mission. That doesn’t matter at all. Please call him. Leave a voicemail. Let him hear your voice, Jill. Texting is a nice gesture, but it’s not the same thing.”

I brought my knees up and rested my arms on them. “You sound like Barry,” I said in a quiet voice. “He said Chris hasn’t been doing well, but he…”

“That will change now,” Rebecca said confidently. “You’re alive, and you’re safe Jill. The change won’t happen overnight but he will gradually get better now.”

I rubbed my hand across my nape awkwardly. “You both seem so confident that he’ll get better because of me.”

“Well he wouldn’t have changed as a person if he hadn’t had thought you died,” Rebecca told me. I winced again. “This isn’t any of my business. But I know that you two…” she gestured to me. “You’re both professionals and you’re partners. I understand that things had to be a certain way with you both. But…” she trailed off and looked away again.

_“Do you think Chris and you can go back to the way things were?”_

Barry and now Rebecca were pressing this subject for some reason. Both seemed to want Chris and I to act on our feelings. To disregard the unspoken line we’d drawn between us to maintain our professional relationship. I didn’t know if I would ever be welcomed back to active duty, but if I was I wanted to continue working with Chris as his professional partner.

And if we crossed this line with our relationship, it would be impossible for this to happen.

“Rebecca!” Barry hurried over to us, grinning from ear to ear. “That’s not fair, hogging Jill to yourself!”

“Hey, I’m the one who’s only here for a few short hours,” Rebecca laughed, standing back up. She turned to look at me again. “I’m so glad to have you back, Jill.”

I nodded to her. “Thank you, Rebecca.”

“And I want you to think about what I told you.” She headed back up to the house without elaborating further.

“What did she mean?” Barry asked, watching her go.

I gave Barry a leveled look. “Did Rebecca and you talk before she came out here?”

“Well we said hello to each other. Why?”

“Because she was starting to sound an awful lot like you in our conversation.” My tone turned sharp as I demonstrated my disapproval to Barry.

Barry shrugged unapologetically. “I said nothing to Rebecca. I don’t need to coach a woman like her on what to say. But if she said the same thing that I told you Jill, shouldn’t that make your answer more obvious to you?”

I gaped at him, unable to respond. Barry nodded back towards the house. “We ordered takeout for an early dinner, so Rebecca can eat before she has to leave. Come and join us, Jill.”

I snorted as I stood, folding the blanket. “You didn’t order sandwiches, did you?”

Barry barked out a laugh. “No. I think we’ve all heard enough jokes about the Jill Sandwich.”

I managed a laugh as I followed him inside. The shift in conversation allowed me to momentarily forget my conversation with Rebecca, and the knots in my stomach.

Later on that evening after the sun set, I went out onto Chris’s balcony and sat in one of the chairs. Down below Rebecca was leaving to head back to the airport. I’d already given her a hug and a kiss goodbye downstairs, and from my vantage point I was able to wave to her as the taxi drove off with her. Once again I was grateful to Chris for going to this expense of getting our circle of friends a safe house where we could meet up and catch up on old times—even if it was just a few hours at a time.

_“Please call him. Leave a voicemail. Let him hear your voice, Jill.”_

Rebecca’s pleading tone whispered over my mind and I looked down at my phone. Chris hadn’t sent me any text messages in the last 24 hours, but I wasn’t concerned. I wanted him to focus on his work. And if he wasn’t available to text, then that increased the chances of me being able to leave a voicemail.

I didn’t want to talk to him directly at the moment. Barry and Rebecca filled my head with nonsense and it was causing me to second-guess my own feelings and judgment. Why were they suddenly so interested in my relationship with Chris? Neither of them cared before. Whatever or however our relationship with grow from here was strictly our own business!

_But they’re not doing it maliciously. They’re doing it because they think this is what’s best for us. But only Chris and I can decide that, and I don’t know what the right decision is._

I sighed heavily and shook my head. “This was easier before I came back,” I groaned, and pulled up Chris’s phone number. After hesitating for a moment I clicked to dial. The call immediately went to voicemail and I sighed in relief. _Good, this will be easier for me._

“Hello Chris,” I began, looking up at the clear sky. “I don’t know what time it is wherever you are, but I’m enjoying a view of the stars from your b—house,” I corrected myself. I hadn’t yet told Chris that I was sleeping in his room. I didn’t know why I was holding off on it, but I kept chickening out. “We got a visit from Rebecca today. She had a short layover but it was nice to see her. Have you seen her lately, Chris? I swear that girl hasn’t aged since the Spencer Incident.” I laughed a little and looked down the road where she had departed.

“Claire seems to be doing okay too,” I continued, idly plucking at my seat with my free hand. “You should stop by and pay her a surprise visit after your mission. I’m sure she’ll appreciate seeing you. Barry’s here with Kathy and Polly, but I guess Moira refused to come. It’s hard to belief that Barry has such a troubling relationship with his daughter. I hope…I hope things get better for them.”

The tone of my voicemail suddenly became somber, and I didn’t want it to be. I cleared my throat and continued. “There are other people here, including Carlos—I told you about him, right? He’s still the same as I remember him. Really, I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me, Chris. This has been the best vacation I’ve ever had. There’s really not a lot I could ask for more.”

I hesitated again, and closed my eyes. After a moment I opened them again. “Chris if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to contact me. Call me on the phone, come and visit me. I’m here for you like I always have been. Like you’ve always been here for me. I…” I shook my head. “Take care, Chris.”

I hung up and scrubbed a hand over my face. That wasn’t how I wanted the phone call to go. I’d wanted to show Chris how pleased I was with this trip and that I was happy and having fun. Instead I was wistful and hesitant. I wasn’t like myself at all.

I leaned my face into my hand and sighed. _What’s wrong with me? I can’t even act naturally with a voicemail! Have things really changed between us because of what’s happened? I know what I feel for him, but I don’t know what to do. We may have seen each other off and on since Kijuju, but I miss him terribly. I wish he was here…_

I lowered my hand and looked at my phone. Chris’s phone number was still displayed on the screen. “I wish you were here,” I said, more to myself than anything.

* * *

As bad as that night was, the following day wasn’t much better for me.

It was around 12:30 in the afternoon. I sat on the floor next to Chris’s bed, examining my bare arms. I’d just gotten out of the shower and was dressed in a tank top and shorts. My loose wet hair was sticking to my neck and my back. I slowly rubbed a hand up and down one arm. I felt the heat of the shower on my skin, but…but my complexion was still milky white.

“No blush,” I murmured out loud, looking at my other arm. “No tan. No sunburn. Nothing’s changed.”

 I had come down for breakfast that morning to see Lily sitting in the middle of the living room floor, crying quietly. The teenager’s neck and shoulders were covered with a brutal sunburn, and Kathy was gently rubbing salve on the sunburn while speaking gently to her.

“Hold it for one second,” Lott said, holding his cell phone horizontally. I heard a ‘click’ and he lowered it. “I wonder how Ark will react to seeing this?”

“That looks even worse on your phone,” Polly said making a face.

“How did you get such a terrible sunburn?” Jim asked incredulously, leaning against one of the couches. “Didn’t you put on sunscreen? You’ve lived here long enough to know better!”

Lily nodded stiffly. “Of course I put on sunscreen! B-But it must have washed off in the ocean yesterday. My skin isn’t used to this environment!”

“But you grew up on an island, didn’t you?” Carlos asked, though he kept his tone gentle.

Lott scoffed harshly. “Don’t even compare Sheena Island to this place!”

“Well Sheena Island was located in the British Isles right?” Polly asked. “That’s as far removed from Hawaii as you’ll get!”

Lott choked on a laugh, but then his cell phone chimed. “Oh, Ark replied! Lily, do you want to see his reply?”

“The only thing I want is for this sunburn to go away!” Lily groaned with anguish. She looked at me then. “Jill, how are _you_ not sunburned? You fell asleep outside and you didn’t put any sunblock on!”

I hadn’t thought about it until that moment. Lily had a definite point—I fell asleep outside on a sunny day wearing a bikini, with only sunglasses and a thin blanket to cover me. And I didn’t put on any sunscreen beforehand.

But the sun hadn’t affected my skin at all.

“Jill’s just luckier than you,” Carlos said cheekily. “That’s all.”

“Aw, this isn’t Ark!” Lott snapped in outrage. He showed the phone to Polly. “Look at this rubbish! Ashley must have stolen his phone again!”

“Oh, do you mean Ashley Graham?” Barry said, quickly jumping at the opportunity to change the subject. “President Graham’s daughter?”

“Ooh,” Carlos laughed. “I didn’t realize the hero of Sheena Island was _close_ to a politician’s daughter!”

Lott suddenly burst into loud and hysterical laughter, greatly startling everyone. Including Lily. With each second it got louder and stronger, and he fell to his knees. He struggled to speak but it was futilely. “O-Oh, that’s funny! That’s hilarious!” he laughed even harder.

“What’s all this about?” Jim asked, slightly alarmed as he watched Lott’s uncharacteristic behavior.

“Leon got…Ark a job as Ashley Graham’s bodyguard,” Lily grunted softly. “Leon said it was an apology to Ark after sending him to Sheena Island. After President Graham’s term ended, Leon thought getting Ark a job as Ashley’s personal bodyguard would make up for everything Ark went through. But Ark—”

“Ark thinks Leon has a vendetta against him,” Lott continued, wiping his face as he calmed down. “Working for Ashley Graham is _miserable_ work. The few times Ark’s been able to come here he’s had to bring Ashley, and oh man—her voice is like nails on a chalkboard and she has the most annoying habits! She forces Ark to go on these stupid shopping trips that can last for four to five hours! I can only tolerate that bint in small doses but Ark is stuck with her full-time!”

“She _is_ pretty annoying at times,” Jim admitted softly.

“And if _Jim_ says she’s annoying, then you know she’s plenty annoying,” Lott added.

“What does THAT mean?!”

But I didn’t get any amusement out of this conversation. I was too preoccupied with my complexion…and the complete lack of change in it.

I sighed softly and leaned back against the bed. _Why doesn’t my skin tone change at all? I’m outside in the sun for hours on end. It didn’t even turn rosy from my hot shower! It makes me wonder just what exactly Wesker did to change me. Am I even human anymore?_

I squeezed my eyes shut as I remembered how I noticed something…strange about swimming in the Pacific. I’d swam in the ocean every day but today, after Lily’s observation about my skin, I started wondering about many other things about myself.

What prompted this further was Carlos. He’d been surfing and suffered a huge wipeout from a high wave. I’d been concerned for him from my position in the water, but seconds later he resurfaced with a loud and jovial laugh. The wipeout caused him to retreat to shore, but he was still in high spirits. But something he shouted as he passed me made think hard. And it wasn’t good thoughts.

_“These are the best waves I’ve gotten in days! And wouldn’t you believe it—no sharks! I haven’t seen **any** sharks for a while! Usually I see a couple of fins and I’ve had to be cautious, but now I don’t see any! They must have moved on!” _

It was probably my ego that caused me to feel paranoid, but I couldn’t help but wonders that there were no sharks nearby because of _me_. Because my presence unsettled the marine predators. It was silly to think this way, but since I’d noticed that my complexion hasn’t changed at all I couldn’t help myself.

It just made me feel like I wasn’t _me_ anymore.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face on top of them. I don’t know how long I sat there like that, but I was startled by a gentle knock on the door. “Jill?”

I looked up, and I realized I’d left my door slightly ajar. Carlos was standing in the doorway, a look of concern on his face. Unlike most of the other last few days he wasn’t in swimming trunks, but instead a short-sleeved white shirt and black running shorts. “Can I come in, _chica_?”

I nodded stiffly. “Sure.”

Carlos slid into the door and quietly closed the door behind him. He craned his neck as he looked around the room. “So, this is Chris Redfield’s bedroom? _Bastardo suertudo_ —he has the largest room in the whole house!” he laughed loudly though to show that his insult held no malice. “I can see why you chose this room, Jill.”

“Was there something you needed, Carlos?” I asked him.

“ _Sí_.” He walked over and sat down directly in front of me on the floor. “Are you all right?”

“Eh?” I blinked slowly. “D…Do I not look all right?”

“You’re having a good time here, but something is bothering you,” Carlos pointed out. He sat cross-legged. “Do you want to talk about it, Jill?”

“I…” How could I possibly put this into words for Carlos? About how I was honestly wondering if I was even human anymore? And how I was wondering what I was going to do about my feelings for Chris? Carlos was my friend, but it didn’t seem…right to talk to him about these things!

_But thus far he’s the only close friend of yours who HASN’T told you to act out on your feelings for Chris. It might be worth getting some of this off your chest._

“Carlos, you recognized me the moment you saw me,” I said, looking at him. “I don’t look the same anymore but you still recognized me.”

Carlos shrugged. “Of course I recognized you. You’re Jill, after all.”

I shook my head. “I don’t even know what that means anymore. I mean I _know_ I’m me, but I-I don’t feel like I’m Jill Valentine anymore. I’ve changed. Just look at me. Lily was right—my skin still looks the same as it did before I arrived. Sun exposure and a hot shower doesn’t change the appearance. It’s looked this way since Wesker…” I choked on the name and quickly changed the subject. “A-And my hair too. My hair is different. I feel like I’m a stranger inside this body. I want things to go back to the way they were, but…” I buried my face into my hands.

Carlos listened to me in silence for a long moment. When he realized I wasn’t continuing he responded…in typical Carlos fashion. “Wait. You took a shower, and didn’t invite me?”

I punched him in the shoulder. I could tell the blow hurt him, but he reacted as though I’d shot him instead. “Ow! _Oh Dios mío_! My wounded, broken heart suffers another serious blow! This is the end for Carlos Oliveira!” he fell backwards onto his back, clutching at his chest.

I snickered before I burst into full laughter. On the floor Carlos was also laughing, even as he nursed his shoulder. He was grinning though as he sat up. “I suppose I deserved that.”

I shook my head. “No, I shouldn’t have hit you. I’m sorry for my reaction.”

“No, it’s fine really. Remember what I’ve faced off against, Jill—militia, guerillas, zombie, ex-girlfriends. This is no big deal.” He sobered up though. “It’s not like you though to worry about something like your appearance. You’re still easy on the eyes, _chica_. I’m sure your skin tone will change once they let you out on your own more. As for your hair, why not just dye it? It won’t be too long before you’re back to a you you’re more comfortable with.”

“It’s more than my physical appearance though, Carlos. It…” I scooted closer. “You mentioned that there haven’t been any sharks around lately.”

“Sure. What about it?”

“How often have they come around to our beach since I arrived?”

“It…” Carlos thought about this for a long moment. Something flickered across his face and then he looked at me with shock. “Y…You think that the sharks don’t come around because of _you_?”

“Thanks to my exposure to the T-Virus, I’m a walking-talking antibody,” I admitted. “But I don’t know what else has changed fundamentally about my body…or what other animals sense about me.”

Carlos was talking what I was saying seriously, and for a moment he looked alarmed. But he quickly composed himself and leaned forward to whisper to me. “Have the BSAA discussed anything with you related to your body?”

“No.”

“Then I wouldn’t worry about it.”

I stared at him. Was it really as simple as that?

“If there was cause for concern, then they wouldn’t have allowed you to come here,” Carlos pointed out. “And _you_ helped build the BSAA, Jill. They wouldn’t hide important information about your own body from you. But I _would_ recommend that you bring up these concerns to them when you get back. It might prolong your stay in the labs—”

I groaned, but Carlos continued. “But at least they’ll look into this and you’ll have peace of mind knowing the answers to your questions.”

I sighed heavily, but reluctantly nodded. “You’re right. I need to give full disclosure to prevent future complications.”

“That’s the spirit!” Carlos cheered, clapping his hands.

“Thank you, Carlos. It’s nice to know that even after all this time that I can count on you as a friend.”

Carlos winced then, and ducked his head forward as he rubbed at the back of it. A feeling of discomfort settled over me. “Carlos?”

He looked up then he was once again cheerful. “You’re welcome, Jill. I value you as a friend, too.”

“Thank you.” I breathed out a sigh of relief.

I thought our discussion was over, but Carlos didn’t move. He looked up towards Chris’s bed and didn’t say a word. I finally broke the silence. “Carlos?”

“You’re not just upset about your body, are you?” he asked suddenly. “You’re upset about…” he gestured with his hand. “Things between you and Chris Redfield.”

I don’t know what kind of face I made at him, but he quickly raised his hands. “I-I’m not teasing you, and I’m not looking to pry. I’ve heard the rumors, of course. Everyone has. And I probably already know the answer considering everything you’ve gone through. But…” he shrugged.

I closed my mouth, and found myself deflecting. “There are _rumors_ about us?”

“Oh don’t play the innocent act with me, _chica_ ,” Carlos teased me. “They’re widespread enough to reach US-STRATCOM, after all. But it’s inevitable considering how close you two are, and everything that’s happened ever since you almost died to protect…” he broke off with a sharp tone.

He was now upset. I lowered my legs so that I was sitting cross-legged. “Carlos, are…you’re not mad at _Chris_ for what happened to me, are you?”

“Can you blame me?” he rasped, looking at me. “We’ve all been there! _I’ve_ been there! He should’ve done more to protect you, and he didn’t! _I_ was able to keep you safe, Jill, but Chris wasn’t! I…” he shook his head furiously.

“Carlos, I don’t blame Chris for what happened to me,” I told him in a sharp tone. “There’s only one person to blame, and that’s the bastard who did all those things to me. Do you understand what Chris has gone through because of what happened to me? I suffered through an ordeal, but it hasn’t been an easy time of it for Chris either!”

“I know, Jill, I know. Don’t listen to me, I sound like a fool…” he sighed painfully and bent his head again. “I’m just so glad that you’re alive, and I’m being irrational for directing my anger at Chris like this. In fact, it’s pretty damn hypocritical to be angry at him for anything when I’m freely using a house he purchased for everyone! But it makes me upset to see _you_ upset, and I can’t help but think of the ‘what ifs’. What if I had been there instead? What if I had saved you from Wesker? I want to think that I could’ve protected you better, but…”

“Carlos, I don’t need anyone to protect me. I’m a grown woman, a soldier.”

He grinned at me. “ _Sí_ , you are. You certainly did more to protect _me_ in Raccoon City than I did you!”

“Oh come on, stop that! Who sat vigil over me for two days after I was infected with the T-Virus? You did! I wouldn’t be sitting right here if you hadn’t saved my life! I’m forever in your debt for saving me, but I don’t want you to be upset at Chris over what happened to me! We were ambushed by Wesker, and completely ill-prepared for the battle against him! Chris has sacrificed everything to stop bioterrorism, and he sacrificed greatly to find me and to bring me out from mind control! So please don’t be angry with him!”

Carlos laughed again, but it was a little more relaxed sound. But…there was also pain in the sound too. “He…He really means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

“He’s my partner,” I said. This seemed to be my automatic answer to this line of questioning. “I trust him with my life.”

“And do you trust him with your heart, Jill?”

My breath hitched, but Carlos was giving me an intense look. It’d been easier to sidestep this conversation with Barry and Rebecca, but not Carlos. Somehow with Carlos it was much harder to evade these kind of questions.

_It’s strange, but somehow I feel I owe Carlos an answer to these type of questions._

So I swallowed thickly and forced the answer out. “I don’t know what my relationship with Chris is, but…I trust him with _everything_ of me, Carlos. Including my heart.”

Carlos nodded to this. “I thought so. Thank you for giving me an honest answer, Jill.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know why I was apologizing, but it came out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

“No, don’t apologize.” Carlos leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Just be happy, Jill. You’ve earned it.”

“I want you to be happy too, Carlos.”

“Oh, I’m already happy _chica_.” He was grinning from ear to ear as he stood up.

There was a knock at the bedroom door before it opened. “I’m sorry for disturbing you Jill, but—” Barry stopped when he saw Carlos. He looked embarrassed. “O-Oh. Am I interrupting something?”

What did that mean? But Carlos waved a dismissive hand and walked around Barry. “No, we’re finished talking Barry. I’ll see you downstairs Jill.”

Barry watched Carlos leave, and didn’t move from his spot. I stood up and sat on the bed. “Barry, what is it?”

“N-Nothing. Nothing at all.” He turned back to face me as he closed the door behind him.

“We _were_ just talking, you know,” I said irritably, glaring at him.

“No, I know that. Shit, I feel awkward all of a sudden.” Barry rubbed at the back of his head.

I remembered how Barry had a habit getting tongue-tied and acting very awkward when he was embarrassed or stressed and I softened my tone. “How can I help you, Barry?”

“Well, Jim had an idea to take everybody out for dinner at some posh restaurant to cheer everyone up since we all seem to be in the slumps today. I-I just wanted to let you know.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. But…I don’t think I have an outfit for high dining.”

Barry shrugged. “If it makes you feel better my nicest shirt is an aloha shirt.”

“ _You_ own an aloha shirt?!” I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. “You, Barry Burton?! I have to see this!”

“You don’t have to sound so enthusiastic,” Barry grumbled, and begrudgingly followed me.

I was starting to feel a little better about everything…even though I was confronting the inevitable.

* * *

_I awoke slowly to comfort and warmth. I felt relaxed and safe. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I smiled, and snuggled closer to the body I was curled against—_

_Body? My eyes snapped open, and I jerked up slightly. The room’s light was dim, but I could see. Heat flooded my face as I took in my surroundings. No, this wasn’t a dream. I was in bed with **Chris**._

_I quickly checked myself over and sighed heavily in relief. I was still in street clothes and Chris was in pajamas, and I didn’t sense anything…differently about my body. Nothing had happened._

_But I was still in bed with Chris—my arms were wrapped around him, and his around me, and my leg was even draped diagonally across his legs._

_I remembered that we had just finished a mission, and had gotten a hotel room together. I didn’t remember falling asleep. I slid my leg back and gave us as much distance as I could. Then I touched Chris on the shoulder and shook him slightly. “Chris?”_

_Chris was awake in an instant, and he sat up slightly as though startled. His sudden motion brought his body closer to mine, and for a moment our faces were centimeters apart. My heart leapt into my throat as he blinked at me for a moment, and smiled. But the sleep left him completely, and he relaxed back against the bed. “You okay, Jill?”_

_“Yeah,” I told him. “I was just surprised to wake up in bed with you.”_

_Chris laughed softly, and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. “You sat down on my bed and fell asleep. I probably could’ve gone and slept in your bed, but I was too tired to move.”_

_“I…I fell asleep in your…” I glanced at the empty bed beside us and my face grew even hotter. Yes, this was Chris’s bed. I saw my own bag at the foot of the other bed. “O-Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.” I hid my face with one hand._

_“Do I look angry?” Chris asked me. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. “It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve shared a bed together, Jill.”_

_This was true enough, and I felt even more foolish for being embarrassed. We **had** shared beds before, always platonically of course. But there were too many instances on missions where we were stuck in cubbyhole hotel rooms, rooms so small you would have to climb across a bed to get to the bathroom. This wasn’t a unique circumstance, and this wasn’t even the smallest bed we’d ever slept in._

_This wasn’t anything knew, but for some reason I felt incredibly embarrassed this time about waking up in bed with Chris. Especially since I woke up holding him…and him holding me._

_“Right,” I said finally, nodding stiffly. “I’m still sorry nonetheless. I’ll go get in my bed and let you get back to sleep.”_

_I pushed back the covers and started to stand, but a hand grabbed my elbow. I turned to look at Chris but paused. He didn’t say anything, and he wasn’t looking at me differently but he was just staring at me. All I could was stare back at him in silence. After a few moments I licked my lips nervously, and my pulse jumped when his eyes left mine to watch the simple gesture. I sighed softly, but it sounded louder in the silence hotel room. His gaze didn’t leave my mouth._

_Finally, I mustered the words to speak. “I-Is something wrong, Chris?”_

_Chris looked back up at me. After another long moment he responded. “No.” he released my arm and rolled over to face away from me. “Good night, Jill.”_

_“Good night, Chris.” I left the bed and quickly ruffled through my duffle bag to find my pajamas. I got dressed in the bathroom and came back out. Chris didn’t move in his own bed. I pushed back the covers of my unused bed. I hissed as I climbed underneath the chilly covers, but I pulled them over my head and turned to face away from Chris. I closed my eyes and tried to steady my heartbeat._

_We were in separate beds now, but I could still sense the tension in the air. Tension that neither of us wanted._

* * *

I awoke abruptly when I heard the sound of a car outside. We had gotten back late from the restaurant, and while the aloha shirt did look okay on Barry he still got quite a few laughs from the group about it. Especially from Lott and Lily, who apparently didn’t laugh much at all.

It had been a wonderful evening, but now I was irritated that my sound sleep was disturbed so easily. Squinting through the darkness of the bedroom, I crawled over to the left side of the bed and grabbed my cells phone to see the time. It was 1:47 am.

I was annoyed that I was woken up so easily by something so minor outside. I knew that a raid wasn’t going on; I could hear the individual outside climbing out of the car and slamming the car door shut. This was somebody familiar with this house, and yet I woke up so easily as though my life was in danger.

It was a force of habit…but still _very_ annoying.

Curled up on my side, I listened as this person walked across the gravel of the driveway. I could hear the swishing of a bag, so I knew that this was someone who had come here to relax after a mission. I closed my eyes and tried to drift back off to sleep.

The front door opened downstairs and Barry, who was still awake, suddenly let out an excited shout. “Heeey! How’ve you been?”

I pressed a finger against my earlobe to drown out the conversation and muffled my other ear with the pillow. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I was going to see this person tomorrow anyways…

I was so concentrated on blocking out the loud conversation downstairs that I was startled to hear footsteps on the stairs. Frowning, I realized I’d drifted off to sleep without realizing it and had woken back up because of the newcomer. I knew it was the new arrival coming upstairs and not Barry, because Barry’s room with Kathy was on the first floor.

The footsteps sounded heavy on the stairs and I sighed with frustration. There were two open bedrooms on this floor, and I wished that this person would go to one of them right away. Preferably the room Claire had taken, which was further away from my room. To my surprise though, the footsteps didn’t steer towards that room. Instead of fading away, they grew louder and closer. My heart started slamming all of a sudden, and I opened my eyes.

When the footsteps stopped right in front of my door, and I heard the rattle of the doorknob, my throat went dry.

 _Chris_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost count of how many times I rewrote the Carlos and Jill scene. I’m still not completely satisfied with it, but I hope it’s not too dramatic. Next chapter is the final chapter.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Three

* * *

 

There had to be no other explanation. Claire _did_ say everyone allowed Chris this room exclusively because he’d bought this house. But I thought he was on a mission in Southeast Asia? Everything I’d heard, and everything Chris told me in the text messages he sent to me, indicated that he would be on this mission for at least another month or so.

But he was here? _Now_?

The door swung open, and a trickle of hallway light spilled into the room. I slammed my eyes shut and tried to relax, making it look like I was fast asleep. My stomach was churning though and I felt embarrassed. Barry _had_ to have told Chris I was staying in his room. My clothes and personal items were all over the place, and I was curled up in the center of Chris’s bed! If Chris had come back from a mission and just wanted to relax, seeing me like this probably wouldn’t make him pleased. I knew I had to get up out of bed and excuse myself and go to that room that Claire had offered to me. If I didn’t, then Chris had the uncomfortable responsibility of kicking me out of his bed.

But…Chris didn’t do anything like that. He didn’t _say_ anything to me. His footsteps didn’t even break stride as he closed the door behind him. He put his bag on the floor and he sat down in one of the chairs. I laid in his bed very still, hearing him grunt as he yanked his boots off. I tried to keep my breathing even as he began undressing on the other side of the room. I was starting to get confused. He didn’t even seem to care that I might wake up and possibly catch him nude! But the entire room was dark, so maybe he thought I wouldn’t see him.

As he changed his clothes, I couldn’t help but listen closely. His breathing sounded calm, but… _heavy_. And now that he was unwinding and getting ready for bed, his movements appeared sluggish. He had to be exhausted after however his mission ended, and the long flight to get here. And yet here _I_ was, in his bedroom of the house _he_ had purchased, when there had been other rooms available. I felt terrible doing this to him, even though I didn’t know he was going to be here during my stay. But my own embarrassment at this situation paralyzed me in the bed. I couldn’t move, and I didn’t know what to say.

Chris finished changing clothes and I heard him approach the bed, his bare feet making soft sounds against the hardwood floor. I swallowed thickly as he approached the side where my back was facing. Still, he didn’t say anything. When he came to the side of the bed he just stopped. I don’t know how long he stood there, but the seconds dragged on as he stared at me. I could feel his gaze on me, and goosebumps rose on my arms. I knew I had to do something to break this uncomfortable silence, even if he probably thought I was asleep. But nothing came to mind, and I remained where I was.

Then Chris reached out and grabbed the edge of the blanket behind me. He pulled it away, but only slightly. I suddenly realized he was going to climb into bed with me. But I was right in the middle of the bed, and _he_ wouldn’t have enough room for himself. Since he didn’t seem to be protesting my being there, I started to subtly shift a little to give him more room.

I almost jumped right out of my skin though when he abruptly slid into bed and curled up behind me. His thick forearms slid around me as though it was a natural gesture, and he fit his body into the same shape as my curled position.

Chris was _spooning_ with me.

I opened my eyes again. His face nuzzled my hair, and he sighed very quietly against my ear. Then, just like that, he was asleep.

I laid there for a moment, not moving. He was so close that I could smell him. I smelled his aftershave, and his natural body musk. What I _didn’t_ smell was cigarette smoke. It’d still permeated his sheets, but it wasn’t on his body.

It was so surprising to me that Chris would climb into bed with me so easily and hold me like this, not caring if I woke up like this. It reminded me of how much his demeanor had changed towards me since we reunited in Kijuju. It was almost like he wasn’t as… _restrained_ as he was before.

But I wasn’t bothered by being held like this. It was just a reminder to me how comforting his mere presence had always been with me. I could feel his heartbeat thumping steadily against my back, and his breathing stirred my hair. It was very relieving to have him beside me, and to know he was alive. I lost three years of my life to save his, though it wasn’t his fault what Wesker had done to me.

But Chris was still alive, and I was happy he was here with me.

My eyes slid closed, comfortable and warm…and _safe._ Unable to help myself I reached up and held onto his arms, pulling them tighter around me. Chris shifted, and for a moment I was afraid he’d woken up. Instead he only snuggled closer against my back and didn’t otherwise stir.

 _You’re here, Chris._ I couldn’t help but smile even as sleep claimed me again. _You’re here with us. With me._

* * *

I woke the next morning to hear the usual muffle of conversation downstairs, and the radio playing pop songs. But what got my attention most was the sound of the running shower in the adjacent bathroom.

I blinked away sleep and yawned, twisting over onto my other side to check my cell phone. I was alone in the bed; Chris had to be the one who was in the shower. But I couldn’t help but notice that the covers had been tucked snugly around me. My heart thudded unexpectedly, and I focused fully on my phone to distract myself.

11:07 am. I’d finally slept in for the first time since forever.

I stretched out my arms and sighed, smiling with relief. It was another moment though when I realized that I didn’t suffer any nightmares or unwanted dreams after I fell back asleep last night. My sleep after Chris climbed into bed with me had been dreamless. It was probably why I slept in so late.

The shower abruptly shut off in the bathroom. I slowly sat up in bed, drawing my knees up and I looked at my surroundings. My personal items had remained undisturbed throughout the room. If Chris really _had_ been bothered by my invasion of his room, there was no sign of this. His own personal items were also throughout the room, and his cell phone was charging on the other bedside table.

I was startled slightly by the buzzing sound of an electric razor from the bathroom but I quickly relaxed. I rested my chin on the top of my knees and closed my eyes. The rest of the house had to know Chris was back, and they probably knew we shared the same room last night. It actually didn’t bother me though that they might jump to the wrong conclusion. Most of us had shared rooms before in the middle of dangerous missions, and it certainly wasn’t the first time Chris and I had shared a bed. However, after that one night where we woke up clinging to each other, we stopped sharing a bed. We either made sure to get rooms with two beds, or if we couldn’t Chris would sleep in a chair.

It was all part of that unspoken line neither of us could cross. But with Chris’s demeanor last night, and the fact that his first instinct was to hold me in bed and we didn’t just wake up like that, made me feel apprehensive…even if it’d felt good.

The razor shut off, and the sink was turned on. I swallowed thickly, knowing that we had to talk. I didn’t know what I would really talk about with Chris, but I couldn’t help but feel nervous. He was my partner—there was nobody alive I trusted more than him. But I chewed on my lower lip nervously as he finished up in the bathroom.

The bathroom door opened, and I lifted my head. “Good morning,” I said quickly.

“Good morning.” Chris’s tone was nonchalant as he stood in the bathroom doorway. God, it felt so good to see him. He was wearing a black tank top and gray sweatpants. A towel was draped around his broad shoulders as he wiped at his face with the end. “Did you get a good night’s rest, Jill?”

“Y…Yes.” I expected him then to ask me why I had been sleeping in his bed and had commandeered his room, when two other rooms had been available to me. But he didn’t. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve slept past eleven in the morning.”

“Hmm.” Chris pulled the towel down from around his shoulder and scrubbed at his face. “What do you think of this place? It’s a little flashy, but I thought it would be the perfect relaxing place for all of us in-between work.”

“It’s perfect,” I said, watching him closely. He still hadn’t asked why I was staying in his designated room. “It’s the perfect atmosphere after a life-threatening mission. And it’s flashy enough that most of our enemies would never think you would buy this place.”

Chris pulled the towel away from his face and smiled slightly. “I thought so, too.”

I smiled back. “Thanks for recommending me this place.”

Chris shrugged, and shook out his towel as he turned back towards the bathroom. “I don’t know anybody else who deserves this sort of break more than you.”

I almost responded, but something on his right shoulder caught my eye. It was a square and dark-white patch. It looked like a Band-Aid, but alarms rang in my head.

_That’s a nicotine patch._

I felt a lump form in my throat as Chris hung up the towel in the bathroom. I tried to keep myself outwardly calm. “S-So your mission finished up?” I asked stiffly, trying not to look at his right arm. “Your last text message said you would be on it for another month or so.”

Chris shrugged. “I thought so too, but we found our suspect by accident two days ago. He gave up his buddies almost immediately and we found their hideout. No injuries on our side, though we had to kill three of the terrorists during a shootout.”

“If they didn’t surrender then there’s only so much you can do.” I shrugged slightly. “Well, I’m glad it finished up so quickly for you. And we glad we suffered no fatalities.”

“Me too. It was a nightmare of a mission.”

“I-I’m sorry about taking your room,” I stammered, finally broaching the subject. “I’ll get my stuff cleared out shor—”

“Do I look upset that you took my room?” Chris glanced at me over my shoulder. “You had no way of knowing I was coming here. I could’ve sent you a text to give you forward warning, but I didn’t.”

“But I’ll still get—”

“Jill, enough.” He came back out into the bedroom. “It’s fine. Really. This is your vacation. I’m not going to spoil your vacation for you.”

This meant though that Chris would have to take one of the other available bedrooms. I didn’t want him to that, but…

Before I could give it more thought, Chris did something that further surprised me. He came to the bedside and turned around. Then he fell backwards across the bed right in front of me. He stretched out so close to me that my toes were almost touching his hip. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. “I’m still tired. Must be the jet-lag. I came straight here after the mission wrapped up…”

Chris _did_ look exhausted. His face was a little pale, though his breathing was steady, and he had dark bags underneath his eyes. Over the years he’d trained his body past its limit to be the perfect soldier and stop bioterrorism. But even with all the muscles, when Chris let his guard down he looked vulnerable.

“I got your voicemail,” Chris said, his eyes still closed. “Thank you for calling me.”

I laughed shortly. “It was an awkward voicemail.”

“But I still appreciated hearing from you. It was nice hearing your voice.”

Silence followed this exchange once more. My knees remained up, but I reached around my leg for him. My hand found his wrist and his hand quickly turned towards mine. Our fingers entwined and we squeezed our hands slightly. His face didn’t move an inch, but his body seemed to relax a little more.

I looked at his right arm again. I knew I had to say it. But the words seemed to burn in my throat as I forced them out. “Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“When did you start smoking again?”

Chris stiffened, and my chest tightened. He slowly opened his eyes to look at me, and he smiled sheepishly. “I guess the patch was pretty obvious, huh?” He raised his arm slightly.

“I knew before seeing the patch.”

The smile faded from his face. “…Barry told you?”

I quickly shook my head. “Your bed smells like cigarette smoke, Chris.”

Chris looked at me for a second before he burst out laughing. I gaped at him for a moment as he pressed his free hand to his forehead and laughed loudly. I didn’t understand why he was laughing, and felt a little embarrassed. After a moment, I realized that this was the first time I’d heard him laugh in a very long time. Seeing him so jovial over something so minor didn’t make me feel so foolish anymore. It seemed almost relieving to see him like this.

After a few moments the laughter faded, and Chris got himself under control. But he looked a little more relaxed now, and he gave me a more relaxed smile. “Then I guess I’m _too_ obvious with you, Jill.”

I shrugged again, and I gave him a stern look. As happy as I was to see him like this, the subject matter wasn’t anything to laugh at. “I was just surprised. I’d thought you’d quit smoking over a decade ago.”

Chris didn’t stop smiling, but he sobered up a little. He looked away from me and looked towards the ceiling. “I _did_ quit. After I decided to devote myself to stopping Umbrella, and then later bioterrorism in general, I knew I had to have perfect health in order to keep up with the physical demands of our job. It was easy to quit when we started overloading ourselves with missions.”

“But you started up again.”

The smile faded again, and Chris closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

“And you’re trying to quit again?”

Chris pressed his free forearm against his closed eyes. “It’s more difficult this time around, but yeah.”

“W…” I hesitated on these words before I gathered my nerve again. “When did you start up again?”

Chris was silent for a very long moment before he said flatly, “Three years ago.”

Shock ripped through my body and I gasped. I gaped at Chris in horror while he continued to lie there, not looking at me. I even felt tears sting my eyes and I squeezed his hand tighter. “Oh, my God…”

Three years ago. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. Three years ago we confronted Wesker on a mission. Three years ago I dragged Wesker out of a window in order to save Chris’s life.

Three years ago, Chris thought I’d died.

“I-I’m sorry,” I stammered quietly.

Chris jerked his arm down and gave me a hard look. “Remember what I told you, Jill? I told you if you apologize to me again I’ll get angry. So _don’t_ apologize to me for this! I’m the one who owes YOU an apology, Jill!”

“How?” I demanded. “What do you have to be sorry for?!”

“You wouldn’t have been captured by Wesker and put through that hell if I hadn’t been so _useless_.” Chris’s voice was no longer raised, but he still looked upset. Pain crept into his eyes, and it hurt to look at him. “We weren’t expecting Wesker, but I should’ve been more prepared for our fight. It’d been inevitable. Instead, I was left at his mercy and you had to sacrifice yourself to save my life. Then he…” Chris looked away and squeezed his eyes shut. “I thought you were dead for two years. So many people I’ve known have died, but when I lost you I couldn’t take it. It…” he shook his head. “I shouldn’t have taken the habit back, but thinking you’d died because of me made me feel so _worthless_. I just shut down from everyone and threw myself into work. I made myself as strong as I could be so that nobody else would ever be put in that same position again. And…smoking was unhealthy but I didn’t care.”

So this was what Barry meant. Why he didn’t want to tell me about Chris smoking again. Chris retook the habit because he couldn’t cope with how I’d apparently died.

_Because he’d thought he lost you._

“I want to help you, Jill. But I also want to help myself.” Chris’s voice had become so soft. Though we shared a lot of each other, he always kept himself very guarded from me. This was the most vulnerable I’d ever seen him. He looked at me again. “I’m being selfish, but it’s a bit overwhelming to have you back when I thought you’d died. Granted, I started looking for you a year ago but I’d prepared myself for the worst. You need a vacation, but I also need to know you’re someplace safe. And not just in the BSAA labs. It’s something I’ll get over, but I can’t right now.”

Under Wesker’s mind-control and the cryostasis, I had no concept of time. Three years had passed without my awareness. But the world had moved on and Chris had appeared to have felt my loss every day. I knew if I hadn’t been captured and if he hadn’t thought I had died he probably wouldn’t be saying these things to me. But it’d been too much for him to handle, to the point he started smoking again and threw himself recklessly into finding Wesker and stopping bioterrorists. It was unnerving that I could have such an effect on someone, but it was easy to see these effects on Chris.

_No wonder Barry and Claire were so happy to see me. They’re surely happy I’m alive, but they’ve been worried about Chris. I can’t believe I have such an impact on him, but it’s really true._

I stared back at him, and the silence stretched between us. I let go of his hand, and though I felt his fingers squeeze around mine he allowed the contact to break. I reached out with my hand and stroked his cheek. He didn’t react to the contact, just continuing to watch me. I could still feel a little bit of stubble on his cheek, even after he shaved.

I didn’t realize I was about to kiss him until I was leaned over him, my face over his face. I felt the jolt in my chest, but I couldn’t stop myself. The contact was slight, but I pressed my lips against his. He didn’t move a muscle, though I felt his mouth yield to the slight contact. After a moment, I pulled away and opened my eyes. His eyes opened slowly and he looked at me.

I withdrew backwards into a sitting position again as discomfort settled in my chest. Chris’s face was unmoving, but his broad chest moved up and down quickly with his sharp breathing. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. We’d been careful up to now. We’d known what the consequences were if we allowed ourselves to go too far. I’d known better, but I hadn’t been able to stop myself.

_I stepped over the line._

But looking at Chris at that moment and remembering everything—how he’d staved off his mission in Kijuju just to save me, his increasingly physically affectionate nature with me, _spooning_ with me in bed—I realized that it was already too late. Our unspoken line had long been crossed.

A quick chime of a ringtone startled us both, breaking the silence and tension in the room. Desperate for a distraction I looked to the side table where Chris’s phone was charging. A text-message icon was on the screen, and underneath was the name _‘Barry Burton’_.

I blinked slowly. Barry sent Chris a text message? Even though he was just downstairs?

I turned back around to speak to Chris, but the words never came. As I turned, Chris suddenly sat back up. He cupped my face in both of his hands and quickly kissed me. I was so startled by the motion that I didn’t react. He held his mouth against mine and his hands were pressed against my face so tenderly. After a moment he broke the kiss and we stared at each other. I started breathing heavily as my started slamming against the wall of my chest.

Chris didn’t say a word, and neither did I. He leaned back in and kissed me again, this time slow and languorous. The kiss was in short spurts, contacting breaking ever so slightly only to return again, making small noises. Unable to help myself my mouth parted ever so slightly from the gentle coaxing, and my hands slid up his forearms. I moaned involuntarily, Chris let out a harsh gasp in response to the sound and covered my mouth with his.

I felt dizzy, and my body tingled straight to my toes. “Mmm!” my hands slid up higher to grip Chris’s shoulders as his mouth sucked at mine. He rose up onto his knees, kneeling on the bed. My head arched back as he leaned over my body. His tongue stabbed deep, almost down my throat, and twined with mine. The kiss grew more intense and our breathing got heavier. One of my hands reached up and cupped Chris’s face as his own hands left my face and crushed me against his body. It’d been far too long since anyone had kissed me like this, but I couldn’t remember any kiss comparing to _this_. Maybe because it was Chris who was kissing me.

Chris abruptly broke the kiss again, and we were both gasping for air. Chris lowered himself back into a sitting position on the bed and I dropped my hand to his shoulder. The responsible part of me told me to stop this and create distance between us, but another desire crept up inside me that drowned it out. I wanted to keep kissing him. I wanted to…

“Jill.” Chris’s voice was low and husky, and my hammering heart pounded even stronger at the sound. He cupped my face again and tilted my head up so I was looking at him. He was breathing heavily, and there was a desperation in his gaze that made me swallow. “Do you want to do this?”

I slowly caught my breath as I stared back at him. He was giving me a moment to consider this. Of whether or not we continue. I took that moment and acted impulsively. “Yes.” I kept my voice just as low, and I nodded to emphasize my decision.

Chris sighed—it almost sounded like relief—and he leaned forward to kiss me again. My hands slid up his back and cupped his shoulder blades as he eased me back to lie on the bed. The sheets separated our bodies but Chris didn’t seem to notice as he stretched out on top of me. Chris smooth the hair out of my face with one hand and broke the kiss to press kisses onto my face. My cheeks, my forehead, my chin, my nose. I pressed up into each kiss and closed eyes, kissing at his face where my mouth could reach.

He kissed behind one of my ears before moving downwards, kissing my jawline before his mouth met my neck. He pressed quick but firm kisses into the tight muscle and I arched my head as my eyes slid closed. My hands rubbed slowly up and down his back as he sucked at the spot where my neck joined my shoulder and I moaned softly from the tight squirms of pleasure that pulsated from the core of my being. Chris came back up and captured my mouth in another sizzling kiss.

I wasn’t new to intimacy, but I couldn’t deny that it’d been a long time since I’d been physically intimate with anyone. I didn’t know if the same could said about Chris, but the desperation in his ministrations made me think that he was the same. But we were also being intimate with each other, after denying ourselves this opportunity for so long. It was no wonder then that my senses were hyper-sensitive, and the longing inside of me ached sharply. I couldn’t stop this. Oh God, I didn’t _want_ to stop this.

My hands found the hem of Chris’s tank top and stilled there, the fingers curling into it. Chris broke the kiss again and sat up fully, swiftly pulling the tank top off over his head. I’d never given much thought or notice to his form, but in that moment my mouth went dry and I let out a short gasp I took in the sight of his toned and muscular body. Chris leaned to the side to toss the tank top over the bed but he paused when he saw me looking at him. “Like what you see?”

The question, and the uncharacteristic smugness behind it, made me choked on a laugh and I slapped a hand over my mouth. Chris smiled at me as he kicked off his sweatpants, leaving himself only in boxers. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Moments later he was kissing me again, but his motions had grown bolder. His hands began exploring my body. Both of his hands covered my breasts and kneaded them, and my body arched into the touch. His thumbs and index fingers found my nipples and pinched and rotated them through my bra and my top. Warm rivulets of pleasure began to vibrate through me and I groaned against his mouth. My legs began to slide apart on their own, and one of his hands traveled lower but found the top of the blanket separating us. Chris didn’t break the kiss this time but pulled the blanket down far enough so that he could slide underneath and lie on top with me with full contact, pulling the blanket over himself. With legs parted Chris was able to settle between them, even though I was still fully clothed, and my heart began slamming once more as I felt his erection press against me.

His arms slid around my neck and my own hands slid back down to his waist. When my hands touched his boxers however, Chris suddenly pulled back. “ _Shit_!” he sat up again, and shifted so that he was sitting beside me on the bed. He pressed the heel of his hand between his eyes and squeezed his eyes shit. “God dammit!”

“Chris.” I sat up as well and placed a hand on his arm. “Chris, what’s wrong?”

Chris shook his head, not saying anything for a moment. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry Jill, we have to stop.”

“Stop? Why?”

“Because I don’t have any protection!” Chris said with frustration. “I-I didn’t think this was going to happen when I came here, so I didn’t think to…” he shook his head again, not looking at me. “I’m sorry. I got so caught up that I forgot…”

I stared at him in silence. That made sense, that Chris wouldn’t have anything for sex. He didn’t expect to come back here and have sex with me. He probably _never_ came here for sex. No wonder Jim decided to prank him with—

I suddenly burst into laughter as I remembered, and I fell back onto the bed. Chris looked at me then. “What’s so funny?”

I hid my eyes behind one hand and used the other to point to the side table. “Look inside that cubby, Chris.”

“Huh?” I could hear the confusion in Chris’s voice but he obeyed and crawled across the bed to the side table. I watched him kneel on the floor and open the door. He blinked once, and then twice at what he saw in there. Then he reached in and pulled out the large box of condoms Jim had bought for him, and abruptly dropped them on the floor in front of him.

“Jim was playing a joke on you, I suppose,” I said around a laugh. I leaned up onto one elbow as I watched him.

Chris touched the top of the box with one hand. “The seal’s broken.”

“That was me,” I confessed. He quickly looked at me in shock. “I was curious; I couldn’t help myself. Otherwise the box has been untouched.”

Chris flipped the lid open and reached inside. He raised a condom up between his fingers, and the long chain rose from the box with it. He held the chain in both hands and just stared at it stunned. After another long moment, he burst into short but hysterical laughter. It was so similar to my own reaction to finding the condoms that I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

Chris composed himself after a moment, and tore one condom off the chain. “Then I owe Jim big.”

Moments later he was back in bed with me and kissing me. However, he broke the kiss after a few moments and moved down to kiss my chin. My breathing grew heavy once more and my hands smoothed over his shoulders as he kissed down to my breasts. I was still wearing my pajama tank top and bra but he kissed through the material, fingers finding my nipples once more as he kissed downward. One of his hands trailed down my side and cupped my ribcage as he kissed down my torso and my back arched slightly. It was a slow torture of my senses and I couldn’t get enough.

Chris’s mouth then met the bare skin of my stomach and he dipped his tongue into my navel. Then he suddenly moved back up, nudging my shirt up with his face and kissing the skin as it became exposed. My eyes closed and I tilted my head back as he grabbed the hem of my top and pulled it off. I raised my arms so he could remove the shirt more easily. His fingers hooked onto the straps of my sports bra, but then he suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes to look at him, and immediately reached for him when I saw the distress in his expression. “Chris, what—”

Chris reached out and pressed a hand over my heart. I looked down and saw why he was suddenly upset—with my shirt off my scar was visible. With my paler complexion the circular scar was still an angry red color. Chris slowly traced the scar with his index finger, and I put a hand on his wrist. I didn’t stop him but I wanted to get his attention. “It’s okay, Chris. Really, it’s okay.”

Chris leaned down and pressed a kiss to the scar. It was a different kiss than the caresses he’d done moments before. The kiss was gentle, like a soothing balm against a wound. I leaned up and was able to press a kiss to his forehead. Chris looked up then, and his dark eyes looked like they were shining slightly. _Is…Is he about to cry?_ I stroked his cheek with my knuckles. “It’s okay,” I repeated, keeping my tone low and gentle.

Chris blinked, and the tears I’d thought I’d seen were gone. He nodded, not saying a word, and bent his head. His hands instead dropped to the underside of my bra and pulled it up, exposing my breasts. He quickly leaned down and sucked one of the nipples into his mouth.

I pressed my fingers over my mouth to muffle the sounds that huffed out. His calloused hands squeezed both of my breasts while he pulled and rotated the nipple in his mouth, his other hand pinching the other nipple between his knuckles. Static electricity of pleasure was humming from my chest, vibrating to the sizzling warmth within my being. “C-Chris,” I panted behind my hand, using my other hand to rake my fingernails down his back. He released the nipple, leaving it a hardened peak, but I had no time to recover when he captured the other one into his mouth.

Goosebumps broke out over my skin, and my face and body felt so hot, but I didn’t want to see if my complexion had changed from the foreplay. By the time Chris was finished with my chest, licking a hot trail down my abdomen from the center of my breasts, the nipples were red and standing. I couldn’t remember the last time I was ever this sexually excited. But this was probably different because it was Chris I was with, and I’d wanted to do this with Chris for the longest time.

Chris hooked his fingers into my pajama shorts, and I tensed involuntarily. I didn’t say anything, but Chris still asked, “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” I told him, looking at him, nodding for emphasis. _It’s fine, Jill. You’re not a blushing virgin. But I guess this feels strange because I’m in the middle of sex with my closest friend…_

Chris didn’t stop, but he did slow down. He raised both of my legs until my knees were bent high and my feet were flat on the mattress. Then his fingers found my shorts and pulled them off, along with my panties. My face grew hot as I became fully nude before Chris. I heard him murmur with appreciation, and I felt a spike of embarrassment. I tried to cover it up though by being nonchalant. “Like what you see?” I asked, echoing Chris’s own words from earlier, but my voice sounded strained.

“Oh, yes,” Chris responded, his voice low and husky. He kissed my left knee before he gathered up the blankets and threw them over himself, the sheets coming to a rest on my chest. My eyes widened. I couldn’t see anything other the lump made by legs and Chris. I felt more than saw Chris spreading my legs wider, and I felt his mouth kissing and sucking the skin of my inner thigh as it descended downward…

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt Chris’s mouth against me, pressing a kiss into my groin. He withdrew slightly, only to replace his mouth with his tongue. My back arched slightly and I let out a short gasp as he licked and rubbed, tantalizing the folds of flesh and pressing the tip hard against my entrance. I could feel the muscles inside me clench wonderfully in anticipation, and my thighs twitched underneath his hands as warm rivulets hummed throughout my lower body. Chris groaned throatily, and pressed his mouth against me once more to suck at the flesh.

One of my hands reached upwards to grip the headboard as his teeth nipped gently at my clitoris. One of his hands left my thigh and used two fingers to push up the skin above my groin, further exposing the sensitive nub to him. “Mmm.” I pressed my mouth together to muffle the sound that erupted from my throat as his tongue rapidly flicked at the exposed flesh.

I felt Chris’s other hand slide up my body to knead one of my breasts, palming it and pinching and rotating the nipple between his fingers. My free hand went to his wrist briefly before sliding down his arm to bury into his hair. With each flick and stroke of his tongue more and more sounds burst from my throat, and my breathing came sharp and heavy from my nostrils as a wonderful pooling heat began to form in my lower abdomen.

Then Chris’s mouth closed over the nub, and bright flashes erupted from behind my eyelids. The heat grew, and with it a slow flood of intense pleasure. “Oooh…” I couldn’t help myself, and my hips began moving upwards with the motions of his mouth.

I felt a finger gently massage my entrance before slowly pushing inside. “Haa!” the intensity suddenly magnified out of control. My head arched back and I cried out as I reached my pinnacle. I convulsed as my body was overcome. My mind blacked out briefly, my hands clenched in the blanket and in Chris’s hair. I fell back against the bed, only faintly aware of it, and laughed breathlessly as Chris shrugged off the blankets and climbed back up my body to kiss me. I accepted the kiss eagerly, though I kept laughing at my own lightheadedness.

Chris settled over me once more, and my mind clear as I felt his rock-hard erection against my thigh. I gently pushed on his shoulder and broke the kiss. “Chris, lie down on your back.”

Chris looked at me confused, but followed my request. He got himself comfortable on his back on the bed, and I moved down the bed towards his lower body. He was still wearing his boxers but I could see his penis fully erect and pointing towards his navel. “Do you have the condom?” I asked, looking up at him.

Chris fished it out from underneath the sheets and gave it to me. I tore it open as I pulled off his boxers. He lifted his hips to help me, and kicked them in the direction of the edge of the bed. Chris was well-endowed, not too intimidating for me. I gave him some quiet praise, which made him laugh until I clasped the tubular flesh in my fist and began stroking him.

Chris press the back of his hand against his eyes and groaned as I rubbed my hand up and down over him. I could tell that he wasn’t far off from his own release. I briefly set the condom aside and bent down to lick the tip. Chris nearly jumped out of his skin, but then he groaned loudly when I surrounded him with my mouth.

“Jill.” His hand came to my nape, rubbing it encouragingly as my head bobbed up and down over him. I could smell his natural musk, which had given me comfort before, but now it only excited me. I squeezed my mouth and swallowed for added stimulation, and his breath came in faster and harder. I was thrilled that I was making him _this_ excited, especially considering how long it’d been since I’d been intimate with anyone. But I could tell by the sudden hitch in his breathing that he was very close to the edge, and I lifted my mouth away from him.

Chris swore, and shook his head violently. “Don’t tease me like this, Jill!”

I laughed as I retrieved the condom. “Patience, patience.” I freed it from the wrapper and began the careful process of sheathing him. However, this only further added to the stimulation and he huffed and groaned. When I finished putting it on though, I glanced at Chris. “How did Jim know what the right size was for you?”

“Lucky guess, I assume?” Chris rasped. I could tell that Jim correctly guessing his size was the furthest from his mind and I decided to put him out of his misery. I leaned over him again, kissing and licking along the length of his erection until his hips slammed upward and he shouted. He trembled where he lay, but to my surprise he was still fully erect after he relaxed from his orgasm. _He didn’t finish?_

“Jill.” He called for me in a quiet, desperate voice. I smiled, my heart slamming in anticipation, and swung a leg over his body so that I was leaning over him. Chris reached up to stroke my face, and I leaned over him as I got settled.

Our foreheads were touching, and Chris leaned up to kiss me. One of his hands caught the back of my head, holding our mouths together. I used my hand to guide him where he needed to be, and sank down. “Unnnh!” I groaned against his mouth as my body stretched around him. It’d really been too long since I’d done this, and while it wasn’t painful it did feel a little uncomfortable. It was enough to cause me to pause briefly, but I didn’t need to convey this into words. Chris seemed to know.

I adjusted very slightly and he shuddered, groaning against my mouth. One of his hands reached up to fondle my breast, pinching and rotating the nipple with his fingers. The sudden ripple of pleasure caused me to break the kiss with a soft gasp, and Chris leaned down to capture the nipple into his mouth. I gasped again, and I tilted my head back as I braced my hands against the mattress. I rocked down lower, and he abruptly thrusted upwards fully into me, and my fingers clawed at the mattress from the sudden static shock of pleasure that pulsated from my groin. “Haa!” I clenched my teeth, but it didn’t muffle the short bursts of moans that erupted from my throat.

My fingers traced his chin, traced his mouth, and he kissed the tips before I leaned down for another kiss. His knees rose up as I began to move against him. My body was hyper-sensitive, and feeling Chris inside me, stretching and filling me, caused unending burst of pleasurable static with each movement. I raised myself up and my hands rested against the mattress, but Chris took my wrists and planted my hands on his pectorals, instructing with his touch for me to brace against his body. He held his hands over mine and our fingers twined as I complied.

My mouth hung open and I gasped harshly as I rode him, moving up and down on him while he thrusted up and met me in kind. My skin felt hot and too sensitive, but I only craved more. Chris’s hands left mine and he grabbed my hips as I moved harder and faster against him, my fingers digging into the muscles of his chest as the heat began to build up within me, delicious but excruciatingly slow. I forced my eyes open so that I could watch Chris’s face. I wanted to be sure he was enjoying this as much as I was. His face was flushed and his lips parted as he panted heavily, his half-lidded gaze locked on where our bodies were joined. He threw his head back against the pillow and groaned sharply, and his hands tightened and pulled on my hips encouragingly. I smiled and continued to move.

“Mmmph!” I was startled when Chris suddenly slammed up hard into me and I briefly saw stars. He repeated the motion again and again, and the heat I’d felt before grew and expanded from my groin to the rest of my body and sharp pleasure ripped through my body. He reached down with his thumb and rapidly flicked at the sensitive nub, and I could no longer restrain my voice. “Ohhhh…ohhhh…” the sound was raw and ragged and echoed in the room as I slammed back against his bent legs. My body trembled and I threw my head back and shouted. Every nerve ending tingled as I climaxed, squeezing tight around Chris. Distantly I heard him breathing heavily, but it would be another long moment before I realized he was still hard. I was astonished at his self-control.

Chris sat up and pulled me forward and we kissed again. Our bodies were slick with sweat but we still clung to each other tightly. He broke the and kiss and said my name with a soft tone. Then he grabbed me and pulled me around, and suddenly I found myself lying on my back on the with Chris on top of me. Chris lifted one of my legs and slung it over his shoulder. Then he leaned over my body and slammed into me with a brutal thrust.

“Ah!” I arched my head into the pillow from the excruciating pleasure, but I didn’t have a moment to recover. Chris moved swiftly with enough force to rock the bed. The sensations were so intense that the ache was almost painful, but I didn’t care. My fingers dug into his shoulders and wrapped around his neck, pulling him on top of me. He groaned into my kiss briefly but rose up onto his elbows above me. Our gazes locked; his eyes were clouded over with lust and I knew my own eyes had to look the same. I reached up to caress his cheek and he leaned into the touch, kissing my palm before taking my hand and pinning it onto the pillow next to my head. Our fingers interlaced and we hung on as his movements became more desperate and erratic.

“Chris,” I panted, unable to help myself as the familiar heat pooled to my lower body once more. The sudden sharp feeling of pleasure caused my voice to rise in volume. “Chris, _please_ —”

“ _Fuck_!” Chris groaned. My leg slid off his shoulder as he leaned closer, resting his head on the pillow next to mine as his hips moved and grinded in just the right way to send me over the edge again. My fingernails scratched down the center of his back and I shouted and convulsed beneath him and my body tightened around him. I collapsed against the bed, struggling to catch my breath. Chris however wasn’t finished. His breathing was ragged and rough, and his body strained desperately towards his own release. His hand gripped mine tightly, and his other hand suddenly grabbed the underside of my thigh. He slammed into me with three more hard thrusts before he lifted his head and groaned loudly. His whole body shuddered with his orgasm, and his hips jerked forwards with short but light thrusts with his release. His head drooped forward slightly and he gasped loudly, his eyes squeezed shut. I stroked his hip with my free hand, watching as his body gradually relaxed against mine. He reached down to help ease himself out of my body, and then settled his body on top of mine, his head tucked underneath my chin.

In the aftermath I closed my eyes and leaned back into the pillow. We were both struggling to catch our breaths. Our hands were still clasped, and Chris’s other hand slid underneath me to rub my bare back. Our heartbeats pounded against each other. I found the edge of the blanket with my free hand and pulled it up to cover Chris’s shoulders before I wrapped an arm around him. I don’t know how long we lay there like that, but I took comfort with feeling Chris’s weight on my body. It was a reminder that he was still here with me, even though I knew that some things had changed.

No… _everything_ had changed.

Chris let go of my hand and raised up onto all fours over me. He looked down at me, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the tenderness in his expression. He caressed my check with his hand, and I turned to kiss his palm. Chris leaned down and kissed me again, but the gesture was gentle and not sexual.

Chris moved then, shifted so that he was lying on the bed again on his back. But he pulled me with him so that I was curled up at his side. Without saying a word, we wrapped our arms around each other, my head resting on his shoulder. He was looking at me, still not saying a word, and he reached up to brush the hair out of my face. One of my hands returned the gesture by playing with the short hairs on his nape.

Finally, Chris broke the silence with a soft tone. “I’ve waited years for this moment, Jill.”

“I know,” I responded, my tone just as soft. “So have I, Chris.”

Chris smiled, but there was a hint of pain in the smile. I looked down at my arm and scoffed when I saw that the skin was pale. “My complexion still hasn’t changed.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Look at me, Chris. I’ve been in direct sunlight without sunscreen and now after we—” I shook my head. “My skin tone hasn’t changed at all.”

Chris caught my wrist and held up my arm. He stared at it for a moment before bringing my arm down and kissing my wrist. He kissed all the way to my elbow, and my stomach fluttered from the intimate gesture. Then he lowered my arm and pulled it around his body. “I think you look perfect, Jill. You always have, and you always will.”

I swallowed thickly, knowing what needed to be said but not wanting to say it. “Chris…you know what this means, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He looked towards the ceiling. “Everything has changed. We can no longer work together professionally. We can no longer share missions with each other. I think…” he laughed shortly. “I know what I’ve felt for you. What I _feel_ for you. But you are my partner, Jill. You’re the second most important person in my life, right after Claire. I didn’t want to jeopardize our work and I didn’t want to lose you as my professional partner. But after—after everything we’ve been through, after I thought I’d lost you forever…my emotions and my self-control were stretched too thin.”

“I understand,” I told him, resting a hand on his chest. “I understand, Chris. I feel the same way.”

Chris looked back at me. “I don’t regret this, though. I’ve denied myself this for so long, but I couldn’t stop _wanting_ this so much. Now that it’s happened…” he closed his eyes and sighed slightly. “It was worth every minute.”

“Thank you for your flattery,” I teased him. “For what it’s worth, you made it good for me too.”

“Just good?” Chris asked, his eyes quickly opening.

“Hey, hey, no need to get so defensive. I think my screaming my fool head off should show you enough what I thought of this.”

Chris chuckled at this, and I even managed a laugh. But the moment passed and the mood grew somber once more. “I’ll miss you on missions,” I admitted quietly.

Chris pulled me closer, and whispered against my forehead. “I love you, Jill.”

My head snapped up in shock, but his expression was stone serious. “W…Did you say—”

“I love you,” he repeated himself, his gaze unwavering. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, Jill. After everything we’ve been through, I can’t hide it anymore.”

I knew what his feelings were, of course. I knew what we shared was both a physical and emotion attraction that we’d tried to suppress for so long. But hearing him say it out loud was overwhelming. Maybe I was being sentimental, but tears stung my eyes and I had to blink them away. “I…” I cleared my throat to steady my voice. “I love you too, Chris.”

His eyes widened in shock. I swatted him on the chest lightly. “You don’t need to look so shocked, Chris. Of course I love you. Would I have ever gone through all of this if I _didn’t_ love you?”

Chris’s face twisted in pain, and I immediately regretted my tactless words. “I’m s—”

“Never again.” He pulled me tighter against him and cupped my cheek with one hand. “I’ll never let that happen to you again, Jill. Even if it means we can’t work with each other again I swear you won’t ever be put in that situation again.”

The amount of force he used in his words made my heart thump loudly. I reached up and cupped his cheek with my hand. “Then you promise me that you won’t ever be driven by hopelessness again.” He started against my cheek but I held firm. “I’ve heard from too many people how much you’ve changed, Chris. And I’ve seen the evidence of these changes, and it’s my fault. I don’t want you to be this way anymore. I want you to be Chris Redfield again.”

Chris scoffed softly. “Honestly Jill, I don’t even know what that means anymore.”

I smiled, and leaned up over him slightly. “I said that same thing about myself yesterday.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.”

Chris choked, and suddenly was laughing. I couldn’t help but laugh as well. But I wouldn’t let it go and poked him in the sternum. “Do you promise me, Chris?”

He hesitated for a long moment before he slowly nodded. “I’ll try, Jill.”

“Thank you.”

Chris then pulled me in for another kiss. My arms slid around his neck and his around my middle before he rolled us so that I was underneath him. For the moment we didn’t think about anything else.

* * *

It was around 1:30 in the afternoon when Chris and I left his room and rejoined the other houseguests’ downstairs. The timing ended up being perfect, as lunch was being served and everyone was out on the veranda eating. Jim had long left for work, but everyone else was there.

Only…

I sat between Carlos and Lott and looked up slightly as I bit into a sandwich. Chris was sitting next to Lily and was also eating, but…it was odd. No one else was eating. And no one was talking or looking at us. I ducked my head and focused on eating.

Then Chris startled us by suddenly snapping, “All right, _what_?!”

I looked up at him but I saw that he was glaring at a specific person sitting across from him. To my right I heard, “I didn’t say anything.” around a husky laugh, and I saw Barry raising his hands defensively. But I also saw, by Barry’s expression, that he was positively pleased and I quickly looked away from him.

“No, but you were _thinking_ something,” Chris accused him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Barry replied, but his wide grin and several short, choking laughs betrayed him. Beside him Kathy was biting on her lower lip to try to stop herself from smiling.

“So I guess this means you aren’t mad at Jim over the condoms, right Chris?” Lott asked bluntly, calming drinking a can of soda.

“ _L-Lott_!” Lily squeaked, turning bright red as Barry and Carlos burst into loud laughter. Polly shouted, “Ew!” and pressed her hands over her ears, and I hid my own face in my hands from embarrassment. I knew that I shouldn’t have been surprised that everyone knew that we’d had sex. Chris and I did share a room, after all.

But it was still humiliating to hear about it.

“I-I don’t see how that’s your business, Lott,” Chris snapped at him. I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. “And you _knew_ about the—the—”

“Yeah, Jim bought them last week,” Lott replied. “I guess he was playing a prank on you to make fun of your nonexistent social life. Clearly his plan failed.”

“ _Clearly_ ,” Carlos agreed smugly. I kicked him in the shin.

“Um,” Lily said meekly. “Can…Can I _not_ clean your room today, Chris? Pretty please?”

“ _I’m_ not cleaning it either,” Lott quickly chimed in.

“Everyone be quiet!” Chris snapped. “I don’t appreciate this invasion of my privacy!”

“’Invasion of your privacy’?” Polly echoed incredulously. “Uncle Chris, we could _hear_ you both from outside!”

“Polly!” Kathy reprimanded her. Barry only burst into laughter once more.

“Oh, my God,” I groaned, sinking my head lower until it rested against the table.

“Oh cheer up Jill,” Carlos said, patting me on the back comfortingly. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is a natural part of life. Unless it wasn’t any go—”

Chris stood straight up from the table so quickly that the chair flew backwards. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that he was furious and he pointed threateningly at Carlos. “If you finish that sentence, I’ll break your nose.”

“Well that would be bad,” Carlos said, unperturbed by Chris’s anger. “I need my handsome looks to attract ladies. Although my accent helps a lot too.”

“We are _not_ discussing this anymore!” I announced sharply, sitting back up. I glared at everyone at the table. “We are changing the subject now, and we will not return to this subject again! Understood?!”

The table stared stunned at me, including Chris. After a moment he picked up his chair and sat back down.

“So you’re graduating this year, Polly?” Lott asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

“Yes, I am,” Polly said, visibly relieved by the change of topic.

“I graduated in 2004 myself. Though it wasn’t much of a graduation since it was in a safe house and everything. But Ark was there, so that was fine. And that was before he was hired to Ashley Graham, which is even better.”

“I graduated in 2008,” Lily said quietly. I noticed then that she was wearing a short-sleeved shirt instead of a tank top or bikini. No doubt to cover up her sunburn. “It was in a safe house.”

“Ark was there, too,” Lott reminded her.

“Yeah.” Lily turned back to her Kindle.

The conversation thankfully remained on this course. I looked towards Chris and saw that he was staring at me. I smiled back at him and turned back to my sandwich, thankful that I would be able to finish my lunch in peace.

* * *

The remainder of our trip was…pleasant. Chris swam and surfed in the ocean, but we did spend quite a bit of time in bed. I couldn’t complain though, and Chris wasn’t complaining either. Jim tried avoiding Chris like the plague, obviously too embarrassed to face him after leaving the condoms in his room. Once he found out that Chris was making use of the condoms however, Jim started acting ridiculously pleased with himself.

Though he _was_ genuinely shocked he’d guessed Chris’s size correctly.

Carlos left on Friday. It was bittersweet seeing him leave, especially since I didn’t know the next time I would see him again. I did value him as a dear friend, and if he _did_ end up transferring to BSAA then I knew we would welcome him with open arms.

The morning he left though…I overheard him with Chris in the game room. I stood at the doorway trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Both men looked very tense, and Carlos even looked angry. I was afraid that they would fight.

Luckily, my fears were unfounded.

“I don’t know the next time we’ll meet Chris Redfield, but as one _hombre_ to another I feel I should warn you,” Carlos sneered.

“Warn me of what?” Chris said, his tone equally sharp as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Jill is back. She’s safe, she’s healthy, and…” he shook his head. “I know what she feels for you. I’ll support her because she’s my friend and I owe her my life and so much more.”

“So…what’s your warning?”

Carlos jabbed a finger at Chris threateningly. “If anything like this _ever_ happens to her again, I’m coming after you. And when I find you…you’ll wish you were dead.”

Chris didn’t answer him for a long time. The two men had a silent stare-down that lasted for a solid five minutes. I didn’t know what to do, but I was upset with Carlos. How could he continue to blame Chris like this when _I_ didn’t? When it wasn’t Chris’s fault? And now he was _threatening_ Chris?

I was about to enter the room when Chris said, “Understood.”

“Really?” Carlos looked shocked by Chris’s proclamation. I was surprised as well, as backed away from the doorway.

“Really,” Chris echoed. “Because if anything this since ever happens to Jill again; I’ll wish I was dead too.”

Carlos sputtered, clearly not expecting this. My heart lurched when I heard him say that. Did Chris—was he saying he would _die_ if he ever lost me again? But I wouldn’t want him to die just because _I_ died!

_But he loves me, and he took my three-year absence very hard. He clearly sees what happened to me to be a personal failure to him. I’ll have to speak with him and set him straight about this._

I knew then that there was no risk for a fight and I turned to leave—and ran straight into _Barry_. “Jill, what—”

“Shhh!” I hissed at him. I grabbed his arm and dragged him into the bedroom Carlos had vacated. I listened at the door, concerned that Chris and Carlos had heard me. When I didn’t hear them react, I almost collapsed in relief. “Good, they didn’t hear us.”

“What exactly is going on?” Barry asked. “Who’s ‘they’?”

I quickly explained to him what was going on in the game room. Barry quickly got furious. “That idiot…does he think Chris has had a good time of it?! I’ll show him!” he stormed towards the door.

“Barry, don’t!” I grabbed his arm. “Just leave it be! They’re not fighting!”

“Jill, Chris has gone through too much! He doesn’t deserve a lecture like that!”

“I know, and I’ll speak to Carlos about it before he catches his flight, but _please_ just leave it be! Let them sort it out themselves!”

Barry gradually calmed down, and rubbed a hand over his face. Then he looked at me. “We haven’t talked much over the last couple of days. How’ve you been?” he choked suddenly, and looked away. “Never mind, that was a stupid question.”

“I’ve been…fine,” I said lamely, though my face felt hot. I folded my arms over my chest. “Have you had fun with Chris too?”

“You mean when he’s not with you? Sorry, that was crude.” He winced at the look I gave him. “Chris has been acting a lot better, and I’m definitely happy about it. But how are things with…?” he trailed off and gestured with his hand awkwardly.

I shrugged stiffly. “Enough has already been said that doesn’t need further elaborating. This is going to change our work dynamic, but—”

“Jill, work isn’t everything,” Barry interrupted me. “You both should’ve put yourselves first long ago. But as they say, better late than never.”

“If we did this long ago, then we wouldn’t have been able to take out Umbrella.” I shook my head. “You’d asked me if our relationship could go back to the way it was. Now that we’ve crossed this line we’ve drawn, we can’t.”

“You’re not regretting it, are you?”

“No, of course not! I knew what the risks were, and I decided to still go through with it! It’s going to be difficult getting back to work and not working with Chris anymore, but I don’t regret this. He means too much to me to even think this way!”

Barry laughed softly. “I’m happy for you two. You’ve both sacrificed too much to keep the world safe. You deserve to be happy together.”

“Barry Burton, you sound like an old-fashioned matchmaker.” I poked him in the ribs teasingly.

“Hey, if Chris and you were strictly platonic I would’ve been happy if you two were in relationships with different people. You two deserve to have lives outside of work! I…” he suddenly sobered up and looked at me seriously. “Please take care of yourself, Jill. Chris wasn’t the only person devastated by your assumed death. He took it the hardest out of all of us, but we all felt your loss. And…” he rubbed at the back of his head. “Please take care of Chris. I know,” he said quickly when I was about to interrupt him. “That you two are going to professionally separate yourselves because you’re now personally involved. I don’t mean watch his back, because you’ve done enough of that already. What I’m saying is that I want you both to take care of each other. Go out and be superheroes, but remember that you have each other. Take it from me, a military man with a family—the mission is important, but _you_ are important too. Don’t ever forget that.”

Tears stung my eyes slightly and I moved to give him a hug. “Thank you, Barry.” I liked these little reminders that I still had people I could trust and rely on. And Barry would always be a valued friend to me.

“Was that fine?” Barry asked, hugging me back. “My bad talking habit didn’t ruin it?”

“No, you’re fine.”

Before Carlos left I pulled him aside and showed my displeasure over his confrontation with Chris. But Carlos was in surprisingly high spirits despite my anger.

“Everything is _muy bien_ now,” he reassured me. “Chris and I spoke for quite a while about many things. He’s really a cool guy once you sit down and talk with him, isn’t he? He even offered to be my _reference_ if I wanted to transfer to BSAA! Can you imagine that? With Chris Redfield as my reference, I’ll definitely get a job!”

“I’ll be a reference for you too if you like,” I said, calming down a little.

Carlos’s eyes went wide. “ _Both_ founding members of BSAA are going to be my references?! Hell, they might assign me in a leadership role from the gate!”

“That’s a good idea. You perform well under pressure.”

“That’s what all my girlfriends say.”

“I did not need to hear that.” But I laughed anyway before settling down. “Seriously, though. I don’t ever want to see you blame Chris for over what happened to me again. Do you understand me?”

“I know, I understand. I’m sorry I went behind your back like that when we already talked about it. But it ended up being a moot point anyway.”

“How so?”

“Well, as angry as I was with Chris, that could never compare with the anger Chris felt towards himself over what happened to you. I mean this is really the first time I’ve spent time with him, and everyone’s been saying he’s in better spirits now but he still feels guilty Jill.”

“…I don’t think people get over these things overnight,” I said slowly, though I felt a discomfort in my chest. “But I will work with Chris on this so that he gets better.”

Carlos smiled at me and gave me a hug. “I wish you both all the best. And if I do end up transferring to BSAA that we’ll end up working together and seeing each other more often.”

“What about your partner in US-STRATCOM? Won’t you miss him?”

“Oh, Bruce? It’ll be fine. He’s a great partner, but he understands that I want to move on.”

“Well, hopefully we’ll be seeing more of you Carlos.”

“ _Sí_ , _chica_.”

* * *

Saturday was my departure day. Chris decided he would return to headquarters with me, and I was immensely relieved we would be on the same flight. I wanted to enjoy what little time we had left together.

The Burton family was also departing on Friday, but unfortunately we were not going to be on the same flights and there were too many of us to share the same taxi. So we said our goodbyes at the safe house. I knew I was going to miss the place immensely, but I knew there would be more opportunities for me to return here. Hopefully.

Lott and Lily were nonchalant about our departure, but Lott gave Polly a hug goodbye that made Barry visibly bristle. I told Barry that I hoped things got better between Moira and him. He thanked me, but he had tears in his eyes when he turned away.

Our goodbyes with Jim was brief because he was too preoccupied with the arrival of the Hamilton family—George, Cindy, and their three sons—who arrived the same morning as our departure. Lott told me that George and Cindy survived the Raccoon City Outbreak with Jim, and apparently in their survival group of eight they were two out of three people that Jim had gotten along with. The other four I guess were highly annoyed by Jim.

_Well, he can catch up with old friends now. Good for him._

Chris booked us first-class, and to my shock we were the only ones in first class. More so the plane surprisingly had very few passengers. I reclined back in my seat and relaxed, though I didn’t like the feeling of dread that was welling up inside me. My vacation was over. I was going back to the BSAA labs, where they would continue to experiment on me to see if I was a biohazardous risk.

“What’s your next mission now, Chris?” I asked, looking at him.

“My next mission,” Chris began, texting Claire on his cell phone. “Is to train new recruits.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. This mission showed me that I returned to active duty too prematurely and that I need time to decompress for a little while. Besides, we have so many skilled men and women who serve under us. I want to train them myself to show them what they’re going to be dealing with.”

“I think that’s a terrific idea.”

Chris smiled at me. “Thank you, Jill.”

We were silent as the flight attendants went through the emergency demonstration, and remained silent as the plane took off. Once we were in the air I spoke again. “I’d been having nightmares.”

Chris looked at me, but said nothing. I swallowed thickly before continuing. “It was Wesker. I remembered what he did to me, and he…he even invaded memories I was reliving where he wasn’t even there. In the last dream I had of him, he told me we wouldn’t ever be rid of him. That he was inside us, Chris, and that he would always be with us.”

Chris let out a sharp sigh, and looked away briefly. Then he said, “What happened after that?”

“I shot him in the face.”

Chris laughed at this, and I smiled. “I haven’t dreamt of him since, but…were you having the same nightmares as me?”

Chris quickly sobered up and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “Sure I have. Taking down Wesker has been my goal for the last decade or so. I pushed my body to the limit with training just so I could have equal footing physically. But yeah. Sometimes I have nightmares and he’s there. But he’s dead.” His tone was firm. “He’s gone, and he’s not coming back. We made sure of it, Jill. So we can both close a door on that part of our lives forever.”

I nodded, but I still looked at him closely. “Are you okay, Chris? Like, really okay?”

Chris nodded, but his jaw was tight. “I’ll be okay, Jill. Having you back helps considerably, but it’ll still take time for me. But I’m going to be all right. We _both_ are going to be all right. Right?”

I nodded again and smiled. “Right.”

Chris relaxed into his seat. I reached out for his hand and he clasped it in his own, our fingers interlaced. I turned to look out the window, and admired seeing the Pacific Ocean beneath us.

_We’ll be all right. It’s not going to be an easy road, and it’s going to take me awhile to be used to not having him around as my professional partner. But he’s my **personal** partner now…and we’re going to take care of each other. We’ll do what we can to make each other happy._

* * *

We were so hopeful on that flight. We may have crossed our unspoken line, but we were happy to be with each other. We were so sure that everything was going to be all right.

We should’ve known better. We should’ve known that with our line of work, the nightmare was never truly over.

* * *

 

The End


End file.
